


Breathe

by potatomustaches



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Assumptions, Friendship, Healthy Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jealousy, Living Together, Love, M/M, Middle Class, Narry - Freeform, POV Third Person Omniscient, Relationship Problems, Slight Age Difference, Slow Burn, Studying, Teasing, True Love, UniversityStudent!Niall, cheating assumed, making new friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatomustaches/pseuds/potatomustaches
Summary: "Niall...""Just breath.""But Niall,""Just breathe, Harry. Stop talking please. Just breathe."(Or the one where Harry thinks Niall has become unfaithful, and Niall just wants to get a good grade.)Inspired by: Animal Attraction by @thatkidbex (on Wattpad)21 July 2016 - 19 June 2017





	Breathe

The bright contrast of the computer screen compared to the emerging darkness of the outside world had caused Niall to turn the brightness down in order to continue his work, or else a headache would emerge and he wouldn't be able to enjoy the planned, surprise date that Niall had sloppily thrown together. It has been quite a few months since Niall actually planned something for Harry - since Valentine's Day, Harry's been the one to take Niall out and about for a good time. You couldn't blame him, really; Niall was new to the town and no matter how many times Harry explained it, the layout of the new town never seemed to stick with him. He allowed himself some settling time, which Harry completely understood.

Yet, it's easy to tell that Harry's been hoping for a good time sometime soon. His countless hours spent working in order to pay for their apartment has drained him, and the amount of dates Harry planned for Niall grew few and far between by the time August rolled around. And, as their schedules seemed to constantly contradict each other - with Niall always waiting until night to do his online classes, and Harry working full-time - by the time Niall finished his coursework on the computer at home, Harry was just about ready to pass out in bed.

Thankfully, Niall was able to make sure neither of them had anything to do before deciding where he would take him. This would probably be their last date for a while, as Niall starts back for actual, physical classes in a couple of weeks and the drive out to the campus was quite time-consuming.

Only, Niall grew worrisome when Harry entered the small bedroom, pulling off his tie and dropping it on the floor, and continuing to strip down until he was left in only his multi-coloured briefs. Harry had never been so lackadaisical to the point that he willingly left his dirty clothes in a heap on the floor just so he could climb into bed after.

Niall wasn't going to even attempt to scold him, as there has been countless times before where Niall has done the exact same thing and Harry never bothered to say anything. He'd only quietly pick up the clothes and drop them in the hamper himself. There is only one account of Harry actually getting annoyed with Niall's sluggish behaviour, and it was only because they were supposed to be packing for the big move. All of Harry's belongings were cleaned and boxed up, so it must have been quite annoying to come home and find an entire outfit strewn all about the room.

Niall made it up to him, though, by putting the clothes back on and allowing Harry to take them off one by one and throw them on the floor himself, seeing as he was a bit preoccupied to throw it all the way over to the hamper.

"Mmm, baby, you look so exhausted." Niall commented, setting down the laptop in the chair before him without closing it.

Harry rolled over onto his back to lie in the middle of the bed, allowing Niall to crawl over him and lay down on his left side. "I'm a bit tired," Harry down-played his fatigue, not wanting Niall to worry that he's not getting enough sleep. Especially since he knows that Niall would only blame himself, as he sometimes has to work late into the night and doesn't crawl into bed until three in the morning, trying his hardest not to rouse his lover. Yet, Harry is a disgustingly light sleeper; any sudden movement on the bed would often wake him up anyway, and Harry sometimes has trouble falling back to sleep after he's been awoke. Niall didn't mean for it to happen, but over the last few days, in order to get all his work out of the way to make tonight clear, Niall would crawl into bed around that time every night, making Harry lose quite a bit of sleep each night.

Harry's not much for naps, because he fears it will mess up his sleep schedule, but after losing a total of nine hours of sleep over the last few days, Harry doesn't care about messing up his sleep schedule any longer.

"I'll leave you to sleep, then. I'll just go--" Niall makes a move to leave the bed, wanting to finish up his last bit of work before their date. Hopefully Harry will be rested enough to want to go out.

Only, Harry doesn't agree with the idea of Niall leaving him to sleep alone, and he pulls Niall back to him before his foot even reaches the end of the bed. "Mm, I was hoping you'd sleep as well."

"Baby, I wish I could, but I still have some work to do. In a few hours, I'll be free for the rest of the night." Niall tries to nonchalantly hint at him. "And anyway, as you always have to wake up early, but I don't have to leave bed unless I have coursework. I didn't get out of bed until two today, so I'm pretty well rested."

Harry rolls his eyes, still not letting Niall leave the bed yet. "Damn you and your inability to maintain a proper, human-like schedule." Harry leans down to kiss his beloved, holding him lips in place against Niall's for a few seconds before returning to his original position. "I was so looking forward to sleeping with you when I got home. We haven't done much of that over the last couple of days."

"I'll say," Niall jokes, trying to hide his smirk. Harry, not being oblivious like you used to when Niall would make a similar remark, catches onto the innuendo and rolls his eyes, once again. "Hey, you brought that upon yourself. I'll let you nap until I'm finished with my work, and then I'll come wake you up."

"Is there any reason as to why you even have to wake me up?" Harry's mind harkens back to what Niall said about finally being done with coursework early, instead of working late into the night. "Leave me be and I'll hopefully be able to sleep until tomorrow morning."

Niall didn't plan on telling Harry that he had a date planned, but it seems he has no other choice. "I was hoping we could go out tonight."

Harry smiles at him tiredly. "Love, it'd be lovely to go out tonight. Maybe we could go down to one of those new pubs; I'm sure you'd love to have a proper draft beer after all this time of just drinking from cans and bottles."

Niall realises that his remark was a bit too vague, "As much as I would love a beer straight from tap, I was thinking something a bit more romantic?" Harry furrows his eyebrows at Niall, as he's never really been a big fan of romantic dates. Harry would know, he's taken him on many dates, and, as much as a sucker Harry is for a nice meal and a cuddle under the stars, that's not exactly Niall's cup of tea.

"You sure that's what you want, darling?"

Niall just realises that Harry was expecting to have to take Niall out, instead of vice versa. The feeling he gets because Harry assumed that is ugly and unwanted. Niall sits up slightly and rubs the side of Harry's face, pushing back some of his hair. "Baby, I was actually going to take you out somewhere."

Harry is silent for only a split second before his eyes light up, "Really? Oh, I just, I thought you meant..."

"Yeah, I only just realised that you thought I was expecting you to... anyway," Niall shakes off the awkward feeling. "I know I've been a bit of a lousy boyfriend over the last few months. There's no excuse--"

Harry immediately doesn't like the feeling he gets when Niall says that. "You haven't been a lousy boyfriend, Niall, you could never be. I'm sure whatever you have planned will be amazing."

"Eh, uhm. I'm gonna go finish my work now." Niall, again, attempts to leave the bed. "Enjoy your nap, baby."

"Is there any certain time you want me to wake up or anything? I can set an alarm." Harry reaches over to his phone that he left on the nightstand after he stripped down.

"No, it's fine. I don't know when I'm gonna be finished so I'll just come wake you." Niall smiles at Harry, nonchalantly trying to get Harry's hand off his hip, since that's what's been holding Niall in place all this time.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to fall asleep now that you've got me all excited." Harry jokes, squeezing onto Niall's hip and taking his other hand to wrap onto his other side, pressing his fingers into Niall's love handle. "Maybe you could preoccupy me before my mind runs wild with ideas of what you have in store for this date."

Niall squeaks slightly, nearly slumping forward at the feeling of Harry's fingers continuously being pushed into his sensitive skin. There aren't too many times where Harry openly and dominantly shows interest in having sex, but Niall would be lying if he said it wasn't sexy.

"I'm sure all this coursework has gotten to you a bit; do you want me to help you de-stress before you hop right back into it?" Harry leans forward and kisses Niall's neck repeatedly, looking for that one spot, right against Niall's pulse, that causes him to completely lose it.

"Harry," Niall warns. "Don't leave any marks, now. We do have to go out in public after this."

"Mmm, then everyone will know how much I love you, and praise you, and cherish you." Harry runs his tongue against Niall's pulse, kissing the spot between each declaration.

Niall almost gives in after the third pulse, but the increased sound of the fan running rampant in his laptop pulls him out. He doesn't normally like to keep the computer open this long, but Harry's just too distracting.

"As inviting as that sounds, I still do have some work to do. And seeing as we're probably going to pretty busy tonight," Harry raises an eyebrow at Niall with a mischievous smirk. "- even after we've returned - I'd like to get it done now instead of cramming it all in tomorrow."

"Ugh, okay. I guess I can try to sleep, seeing as I won't be able to do what I wanted to do." Harry leaves another kiss on Niall's neck, further away from his sweet spot or else he'd be compelled to leave more than kisses on his neck if he feels that pulse under his lips once more. "But, don't get too upset; I'll be sure to pound you into oblivion when we return."

Niall simpers at Harry, and, instead of leaving the bed as he's been given the ability to do so, he swings his leg over Harry and sits on his lower abdomen, straddling him only inches away from the place that Niall knows needs his attention. "Who says you'll be the one on top?"

Harry's laugh starts out loud and obnoxious, but eventually fades into a low and cocky snicker. "Sorry to break it to you, baby, but you're not the most dominant person in the world, and you're definitely not the most dominant in this relationship."

Niall scoffs, allowing his body to drift lower down Harry's body, nearly sitting right on top of Harry's hard-on. "You never know, I might just surprise you." Niall holds in his groan when he feels Harry against him, but Harry surely didn't even try to hide his arousement as he feels Niall slide down.

Niall smirks when Harry closes his eyes and attempt to grind up against Niall, lifting his lower half off the bed and raising Niall slightly into the air. When Harry lowers himself back down, Niall quickly removes himself from the bed and makes sure to stay out of reaching distance from Harry.

He groans again, but in annoyance this time. "Niall, please baby." He begs, wanting to feel Niall against him once again.

Niall walks over to the chair where his computer was left, the fan running loudly and, when he picks it up, the bottom of the computer heats up his hands immediately. He closes the computer and gather all his work into his arms, glancing at Harry.

His boyfriend looks sexy as all hell on the bed, all hot and bothered and trying to motion Niall back over with his head. "I'll go finish the rest of my work in the dining room. It looks to me that you have something to take care of as well, so why don't you do that while I finish up? Since your original plan to sleep has gone out the window, maybe this can occupy you until then. And hey, maybe, if you get off quick enough, you'll be able to fall asleep after all!" Niall is having way too much fun with this. Harry looks at Niall with eyes that speak betrayal, but also with traces of longing and lust.

Harry groans when Niall runs his eyes down his body, seeming to contemplate if he should join Harry once again. But alas, Niall leans over the bed, kisses Harry on the lips once, and opens the door to leave the room.

"Try not to be too loud, baby. My school work is of the utmost importance to me." Niall taunts Harry, turning around once more, winking, and then leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Harry groans again, reaching down to his briefs and shedding those as he did with the rest of his clothes, throwing the article of clothing on the ground and then immediately regretting it because shit, what is he supposed to use to clean up now?

_-_-_

Going back to school was a hassle for Niall. He knew he should have listened to Harry when he told him to prepare his body, but, of course, Niall didn't listen and continued to sleep in until noon or later. By the time the first few days of classes rolled around, Niall would constantly return home right after his last class, instead of trying to learn the campus better, just so he could get some extra hours of sleep. The drive back would sometimes lull him as well, making the pending nap much more enjoyable. And since he often would spend four to five hours sleeping, he would usually get around to his coursework later than he expected.

After a few weeks, though, Niall had finally gotten his schedule back together and was often able to spend a few hours in the library on campus to finish his work and return home right around the time that Harry would get home, leaving them plenty of time to goof off and spend quality time together before bed.

Niall would often see the same people in the library, and, since he's always been a friendly person and wants to get to know some people, it doesn't take long for Niall to introduce himself to a few of them. He's even made friends with the librarian himself. Of course, there were always those people he would try to interact with that just weren't interested, but he'd never get discouraged. People have a right to judge him if they want to.

By the time October rolled around, Niall had become a very recognisable face at his school, and for all the right reasons. A few people had even started inviting him out for drinks and to parties, but Niall wouldn't go too often, knowing that he'd rather have Harry there with him, since Harry seems to be the only one who knows when and how to tell Niall that he's had enough. Niall could never stop himself early enough, and would often get hammered beyond belief.

It wasn't until November that one of his friends, who surprisingly shared the same name as him, invited him out and he finally agreed. Niall was lounging about in his friend's dorm before he has to leave for the tedious drive home.

"You can bring along your boyfriend," Bressie tells him right after Niall agrees. Niall's not ashamed or scared to tell people about Harry, and he actually sometimes has trouble keeping his mouth shut about him. "If it would make you comfortable."

"Eh, Harry's not too big on beer, but I might be able to get him out." Niall says as he sips from a beer bottle that Bressie had stashed away in his mini-fridge. They're not allowed to have alcohol on campus, but Bressie's never been caught out before in the four years he's been going to the school, he feels a bit cocky and hides them in his room anyway.

"You must not be dating a true Irishman." His friend jokes. "When are we gonna meet this Harry, then? You always talk about him, and I'm sure I can picture exactly what he looks like without even ever seeing him."

"Oh really? Describe what Harry looks like, then." Niall takes his last sip from the bottle and sets it on the ground, shaking his head when Bressie motions for him to take another. "I couldn't. I have to drive after this and I don't want to get too smashed before tonight."

"Good point. You're lucky I'm smart enough to invite you out in a Friday night, instead of during the school week like all those other morons seem to do." Bressie sits and thinks for a second. "Well, I already know Harry has long, curly hair that you love to pull on, green eyes and dimples. By the style you've described to me, I'm guessing he dresses pretty flamboyantly with flashy shirts. And I have a feeling Harry's taller than you."

"Well, I better take off." Niall stands up, slightly annoyed that Bressie could gather that much about Harry just through small remarks that he's made. "I'll mention the idea to Harry, but don't be discouraged if I show up alone."

"I could never be. See ya later, Niall."

During the drive home, Niall thinks back on all the remarks he's made about him and Harry. Bressie had even figured out Harry's primary fashion sense just by Niall once saying that he had to borrow Harry's clothes.

When Niall did finally return, Harry still wasn't home. He decided he'd get a headstart on any homework that's due later than tomorrow instead of sitting to reflect. Niall got so caught up in his work that he didn't notice Harry entering the apartment.

Harry took his time with getting un-dressed, putting on a white t-shirt and some shorts, since he doesn't plan on doing anything else today. When he returned to the living area, Niall was still lost in his homework, writing things down quickly and clicking around on his laptop.

When Niall finally comes back to reality, it's because Harry had decided he would like to drape himself over the back of Niall's chair and wrap his arms around him, groans into his neck when he he looks directly at the bright screen. "How much coursework do you have, love? I swear, these professors are trying to kill you." Harry comments, although, he's experienced this first-hand when he attended university a few years ago.

"Mm, I was waiting for you so I got started on a couple of assignments that are due next week." Niall grabs Harry's hand that's resting on his left side and gives it a squeeze.

"How very mature of you, darling. Do you want me to leave you be so you can finish up?" Harry rubs up and down Niall's arms, leaning down far enough to let his knees touch the ground.

"No, I'll just clean up and we can chill for a bit." Niall answers, reluctant to mention his plans to meet Bressie later on. He's not even sure if he wants to go anymore, after realising how much he's missed being able to just chill with Harry.

"You want anything to eat, love? I could make something for us to be ready by dinner time." Harry offers, already thinking of ideas of what he could make.

"Actually, baby, I was going to go out with one of my friends for drinks tonight." He decides to mention, realising that he hasn't gone out with friends and ages and would probably regret not going.

Harry thinks about it for a minute. He also knows that it's been awhile since Niall's gone out for drinks with anyone. "You've made friends now, Niall?" His lover nods, turning his head to look right at Harry. "That's great, darling! I was getting a bit worried that you didn't meet anyone here since you've never spoken about them before."

"Yeah," Niall pulls away from Harry slightly so he can see him better. "This is actually the first time that I've taken one of them up on their offer for drinks. Do you want to come with me?"

Harry contemplates Niall's offer. "No, love, I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Who says you're intruding if I want you to be there? Bressie was fine with the idea; actually, he's the one who brought it up." Harry's heart swells at that statement, at knowing that Niall has told his friends about him.

Yet, Harry was still persistent on not going. He wouldn't want Niall to stick to his side, as he often did whenever Harry tagged along, and annoy because Niall agreed to hang out with them, not Harry. It's happened before with Niall's friends, and Harry felt supremely guilty when Niall lost contact with them. "You go along without me, sweetie. And even if I did go, you know I'm not too fond of beer."

"That's what I told him," Niall giggles, reaching up a hand to cup Harry's jaw, running his thumb up and down behind Harry's ear. "But, if you'd rather stay here, I won't force you." Harry stands up at that remark, keeping his hands on Niall's shoulders.

"Finish up your work, love. I'll be laying down in the bedroom." Harry rubs Niall's shoulders, massaging them slightly before leaving the room, smiling at Niall when he turns around in his chair to see Harry off.

When Harry disappears, Niall pulls out his phone, sending a text to Bressie, asking when he was thinking they should go out. After he hits send, he locks his phone and starts to clean up all his coursework and push it back into his bag to finish when he goes to the library on Monday. He closes his computer and waits until the fan stops making noise before getting up for the chair, noticing how numb his arse had become after sitting down for so long.

He rubs it slightly while heading to the kitchen to search for a snack, seeing the huge box of Snickers bars in the refrigerator. Harry and Niall had gone shopping a few nights ago, and Niall remembers eyeing up the box before leaving the aisle. He was pleasantly surprised when Harry showed up with the box in their cart, smiling cheekily when Niall cocked an eyebrow at him.

He unwraps one of the bars and sucks on it slightly before biting it, giving it time to melt a bit. After his third bite, Bressie replies to his message, telling him that he was thinking eight or nine, but it was up to him. Niall replies, telling him that eight was fine with him.

Meanwhile, Harry had taken off his shorts, allowing himself to get comfortable in his and Niall's shared bed. Just as he was pulling the comforter up, Niall enters the room and drops his phone on the nightstand, getting into bed. Harry smiles at his lover, expecting to get a smile back, but instead is surprised when Niall presses his lips to Harry's.

"Mm, you taste like chocolate." Harry notes, tasting the Snickers bar left on Niall's lips. Niall pulls back with a slight smirk, only to lean down again and kiss Harry again, applying a bit more pressure to his lips.

"I felt like indulging, would you like some?" Niall breathes out. Harry nods and can feel his lips quirk a bit before his tongue runs across Niall's bottom lip, even though Niall's mouth is already open slightly.

Harry's tongue laps against Niall's, the taste of chocolate intensifying from the preview he was given by Niall's kiss alone. He pulls back slightly to ask, "When are you going out with you friend, baby?" Although, Niall isn't given much time to answer before Harry's tongue collides with his once again.

After an intense round of kissing, both men noticing that the chocolatey taste is fading, making Niall pull back slightly. "Did you enjoy your own treat, hmm?" Niall taunts when he sees Harry's flushed face.

"I most certainly did. Now, you didn't answer my question." The atmosphere quickly shifts from one of lust to one of normality. Niall furrows his eyebrows, having not noticed that Harry asked him something in the first place. "When will you be going out with your friend?" Harry repeats.

"Oh, uhm, eight." Niall blushed, realising that he was so caught up in the kiss that he completely blanked.

Harry lifts Niall off of him and sets him down to the side, reaching his arm over Niall to hold him in place. Using one hand, Harry reaches behind him to pull his shirt off, removing it in one swift movement. Niall sends him a confused look, but it is wiped off his face when Harry's leg wraps around Niall's waist as he hauls himself up, so he's sitting on Niall's groin.

"Well, I hope I'll be able to occupy you until then." Harry leans down to kiss his lover, smiling against his lips when Niall wraps his arms around Harry. "Do you have another one of those Snickers?"

"Why?" Niall laughs when Harry leans down to nuzzle against his throat. "I thought we were going to be doing something sexy?"

"We could... but I'd much rather cuddle with my boyfriend and eat a Snickers." Harry leans back slightly so he can look up at Niall's face. Harry's ass is sticking up in the air and the position looks extremely uncomfortable, but Harry doesn't seem like he'd complain.

Niall rolls his eyes playfully, leaning his head forward to kiss Harry on his lips, only, Harry's lips are a bit out of reach and he ends up kissing his nose instead. Harry laughs, cranking his head up just that tiny bit so Niall's lips leave his nose and land where they were supposed to be going anyway.

The kiss is light and sweet and romantic, and Harry moves from his awkward position so he's lying down on Niall instead. When Harry pulls back, he lays his head down on Niall's chest, feeling his heart bump against him. They lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the tranquility of their bedroom.

After a bit, Harry moves up so he can whisper into Niall's ear, "Yeah, I really want a Snickers right now. I'm gonna go get one." He removes himself from the bed, laughing at Niall's face when he returns with a new bar, biting into the treat.

Niall shakes his head at Harry and pulls him down for a kiss, tasting the chocolate on Harry's lips much like how Harry tasted it on Niall's twenty minutes ago. Harry lays back down, the serenity returning immediately.

Well, except for the occasional bite from the Snickers bar.

_-_-_

After many weeks, and many more Friday night visits to the pub with Bressie, Niall finally accepted the fact that Harry just doesn't want to go with him. Niall should expect it, but it sometimes hurt when Harry would use the same excuse.

"I wouldn't want to intrude." He'd say every time, which Niall thinks is completely ridiculous. Harry could never intrude or annoy him, and he'd actually prefer if he'd come with him. Bressie, and many of his other friends, seem to have a much higher alcohol tolerance than Niall does, so whenever they are only tipsy and want to go a few more rounds, Niall would have already reached his peak.

Niall started saying to Harry after the third or fourth night out that he'd really like him to come, just because he doesn't want to keep getting shit-faced, Harry would still say no. Luckily, Niall remembered to ask Bressie to look out for him and stop him if he seemed to be getting a bit too hammered.

The Friday night pub visits had become a regular event, at least for Niall and Bressie. Other friends would tag along if they didn't have anything else to do, but most times, it seems like it was just those two who'd make it there every time.

Christmas was nearing, and tonight would be the last night they'd go out together, seeing as a long break would be starting and most students would be going off to stay with their families. Niall wouldn't leave, obviously, as he already has a home here, with Harry, and his family would actually be flying over to visit him for a few days.

When Niall walked into the pub, most people seemed to have the same idea: get shit-faced the night before break starts to celebrate the holidays with their friends at the school before they all went their separate ways. The pub was packed to the brim, and there was even a line to get in. Niall had regretted not bringing a jacket, and wished even more that Harry would have been there, since he seems to have an entire closet in the back of his car, and would always have something just in case something like this were to happen.

When Niall finally did get into the building - warm due to the heating, and the massive number of people who were present - it took him a bit to find him friends. He could understand why it would have been hard to see people like Conor, who was just a few inches taller than him, but to not see Bressie was concerning. The man is the tallest person he knows, towering quite a few inches above Harry, even. Somehow, though, his friends must have been keeping an eye on the door and called him over fairly quickly.

After squeezing between numerous people and muttering quite a few apologies, Niall finally found himself standing near his friends, who were able to reserve him a spot at the bar. He thanked them as he took a seat, nodding at Bressie when he offered to get him a drink. Since they had been coming here for quite a while, they had gotten to know the barkeep and were able to get their drinks fairly quickly, compared to how it must be for all the newbies and rare visitors.

"Hmm, Niall, we were hoping that your boyfriend would come with you this time!" Sean, one of the people he had met in the library, had commented. "Since it's the holidays and all that."

Niall waited for his beer to arrive and took a sip before replying, "Oh, I didn't offer this time. He wasn't home by the time I left, and he called me right when I got here and told me he'd be home pretty late, due to traffic."

"Mm, and doesn't that make you concerned?" Laura asked. Niall furrowed his eyebrows. "If my boyfriend didn't come home at the normal time and didn't tell me, I would have been so worried."

"Nah, he's been home late before." Niall took a few gulps from his cup, offering a bit to Conor since his cup is already empty and he's waiting for the bartender to come over to request a refill.

"I'd still be worried," Laura shrugs, laughing when Conor takes a bigger gulp than Niall thought he would. "With how cold it is out there, and with so many people on the road now because of the holidays and such."

"I'd be concerned about more than just the traffic." Bressie mumbles.

"Why?" Conor asks, giving Niall's beer back when his arrives, earning a playful glare from Niall.

Bressie hesitates. He doesn't want to be some sort of homewrecker, but he feels like it's a good thing to mention. "How often does Harry come home late, Niall?"

"Hmm, he used to barely ever come home late, but since, maybe, the beginning of the month, there are more and more instances where he walks in an hour or two later than his normal time." Niall thinks about it. Harry would rarely ever come home later than 5:30 before the holiday rush seemed to hit.

"Don't you try making him suspicious, Brez. If he comes home late, it's none of your concern." Laura chastises. She then turns her attention to Niall and pats his shoulder. "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, Ni. Brez is just trying to be a shit; ya know how he is."

"Hey now, I'm not trying to scare the kid, if that's what you're thinkin'. I just felt it was worth mentioning." Niall catches Bressie's eye after he says that, making the man smile at him. "I'm not tellin' ya to get concerned, and it probably is just rush hour traffic during the holidays, but think about it; if he's coming home really late, to the point that he's not home by the time you come out to see us and he didn't call you after the first two hours, I really don't think it's traffic that's holding him up."

Niall looks around to his other friends, and sees that Conor is rolling his eyes. Conor notices and pulls Niall a bit closer so he can hear him better. "His mind is always in the gutter; that's just how he is. Ya wanna know what I think?" Niall nods, turning his head a bit to see him better. "I think Harry's been doing a bit of overtime so he can surprise you with somethin' real nice for Christmas."

Niall's mind wanders at that. Harry is always given opportunities for overtime, Niall knows it, but he never picks them up because he doesn't want to overwork and exhaust himself, and he wants to have those few hours that he actually gets to spend with Niall. Now that he thinks about it, Harry has been coming home and seems quite tired almost every time.

"Ya think?" All options sound viable, since traffic can tire you out too.

"With the way you speak of Harry, he sounds like he really loves you. I mean, do you think he would continue paying for all your food, supplies, and even the flat you guys live in, if he's become unfaithful? That doesn't sound realistic to me." Conor smiles at him, making Niall smile back and start blushing as he thinks about that possibility more.

"See? I think Niall believes Conor more than you, Brez, and good on him for doing so, since you're such a shit. Trying to ruin such a nice and loving relationship." Laura elbows Bressie, thanking the bar keep when a refill arrives.

"We don't know how loving it is; we've never even met Harry. Do you think if Harry wanted to spend time with Niall, he'd come out with us every now and then and actually meet some of the other people in Niall's life?" Bressie grumples, taking a sip from his drink.

Laura rolls her eyes. "Harry has his own reasons to not come out with Niall, just like you have your own reasons for being a jealous shit. You're lucky Conor jumped in when he did, or else Niall might have actually listened to you. You know how anxious Niall gets; we don't need a fucking downer like you coming in and ruining his night, and possibly his relationship."

"Fuck off, Laura, you can't tell me that I'm the only one that questions how committed Harry is to Niall. I just don't want to lad to get hurt, that's all. I'm not trying to ruin anything, I just want Niall to look at all the possibilities on what Harry's actually doing during those hours that they're not together."

"Actually, I can. Niall really loves Harry, you can just see it when he talks about him. And from what I hear from Niall, Harry really loves him too."

"But that's just from what Niall tells us." Bressie glances over at Niall, who's still smiling and blushing while Conor continues to whisper things to him. "We don't know what actually goes on behind the scenes."

Hours pass quickly, as they normally do, even though there seems to be a bit of tension between Bressie and Laura. Niall relies on Conor to stop him when he reaches his limit, even though it seems like his alcohol tolerance is going up and is more in line with the rest of them. Because Harry wasn't the biggest fan on drinking out, and because he was more focused on school work and getting settled into the new place, Niall's alcohol tolerance seemed to drop exponentially. He's gotten himself back into a rhythm, and it takes a lot more to get him hammered.

Even as everyone makes their way out of the pub and onto the street, all to find their own respective way home, Niall isn't even fully far gone. He barely slurs any of the words as he mumbles his address to the Uber driver, and walking up the stairs to his flat is less of a task than it would have been after the first few nights out. But alas, Niall did have a bit of trouble getting the key into the lock, though, and knows he will probably pass out as soon as his head hits the pillow. Still better than before, when he sometimes didn't even make it to the bed and crashed on the couch.

When Niall enters the flat, all the lights in the sitting room are off and he's guessing Harry's already gone to bed. That's strange, Harry usually waits for Niall in the chair so he can carry the boy to bed if he falls asleep on the couch, or even the floor.

Niall's mind immediately flashes back to what Bressie said, "I really don't think it's traffic that's holding him up." The office would have closed by now there's no way Harry's still doing overtime, like Conor suggested, if he ever was anyway. And there's no way Harry would still be stuck in traffic at this hour.

But all the thoughts leave his head when he opens the door to their bedroom and finds Harry sitting up in bed, reading a book and constantly trying to keep his eyes open. His head snaps up when he hears the door open, and puts his hand over his heart and mumbling, "God, you scared me."

"Sorry," Niall apologises, starting to remove his clothes so he can climb into bed. "You look tired. Why didn't you go to sleep?"

"I tried to, but the bed was too cold without you." Harry admits, dog-earing the page he's on and closing the book, setting it down on the nightstand. "How was the night out with friends? You don't seem that drunk, but maybe you're just playing me."

Niall finally gets his pants off, knowing that he's gonna have to start wearing warmer clothes instead of skinny jeans, since it's getting much colder outside now. Luckily, he won't really have to go out much until school starts back, so he can worry about that when the time comes.

"The night was fun; Brez was being a bit of a shit though." Niall finally gets his clothes off and slips on a t-shirt and some pyjama pants.

"Well, hopefully when you guys meet up again, he'll get over whatever it was that made him act like that." Harry ruffles the bed sheets and blanket, pulling it back for Niall when he comes over on the other side. "What was he doing?"

"He was just making up stuff and putting stupid thoughts in my head. Him and Laura seemed on edge after that." Niall cuddles up to Harry immediately, wanting to push his head into Harry's throat, but he feels Harry might want to talk more so he hold back for a bit. "It's nothing to be concerned about, though, because I brushed it off.

"Mm, so Laura came out tonight too? That's nice. Was anyone else there?" Harry takes Niall's word on not having to worry about it, and he's proud that Niall didn't turn it into some sort of big deal because he hates when Niall gets worked up over stuff that his friends say. Harry usually has force Niall to tell him things, because if he's concerned about it, Niall usually doesn't want to involve Harry, even if it's about him. Niall likes to be able to figure stuff out and get over it on his own, which sometimes doesn't go well, and he ends up pushing Harry away a bit in the process. Harry's always able to help him if he needs it, though.

"There was a shit ton of people there, Harry! I could barely move and I was nearly standing on top of Conor half the time when we left our seats for a while. It was awful!"

Harry notes that Conor was also there, and is guessing that that's all who came out. "Did you have an anxiety attack, love? Were you okay?" Niall is known for getting a bit antsy in crowds, and sometimes he does have an anxiety attack if no one is there to comfort him.

"No, I was okay. Conor made sure to let me know that he would be by my side the whole time, which he was!" Niall smiles. "But even if he wasn't there, I think I would have been okay."

"Mm, I'm proud of you, darling. You didn't let Breslin get to you, and you didn't get freaked out when there was so many people around. I'm so proud of you." Harry leans down to kiss his lover, not being able to see the blush on Niall's cheeks.

"Thank you, Harry. I wish you would have been there to see me; I'm sure that would appease Bressie."

"Hmm? Why would it appease Bressie?" Harry asks.

"He really wants you to come by, Harry, so he can meet you. They all want to meet you." Niall sighs, "I want you there with me, too."

"Love, you know I would love to be able to see you get through something like that, but you know why I don't tag along." Harry kisses Niall again, a bit longer this time.

"I know, I know; you don't want to intrude. But, baby, you won't be intruding if I want you there! If others want you there."

Harry sighs as well, "I'll come by one day, sweetie, but I couldn't have been there tonight anyway." Harry hauls Niall up so he's lying on him. Niall finally does bury his face in Harry's throat, his hot breath heating up Harry cold body immediately.

As Harry rubs his back, Niall replies by saying, "Yeah, you were stuck in traffic."

"Exactly. Maybe when the Christmas rush ends and it gets a bit warmer, I'll come by to meet your friends."

Niall nods slowly, taking a long breath in and letting it out. "So, like March? Or April? That's so far away, baby."

"Mm, maybe a bit earlier than that, but still, I don't want to intrude. I'd rather you go out and have fun with your friends," Niall pushes Niall's head up so he can look at him. Niall's eyes are slightly dazed, like he was about to nod off. "Let's go to bed now, darling." Harry kisses him on the nose, and then on the lips, letting go of his head afterward to Niall can settle back in Harry's throat.

"Mm, I love you." Niall mumbles, his lips trailing against Harry's neck slightly as he talks.

At the feeling, Harry leans down a tiny bit to be able to kiss Niall on the head. "I love you too, baby."

_-_-_

The months that started out the new year seemed pretty ordinary, and it wasn't until May that stress started to build up, along with many final projects and assignments that could make or break his grade. Due to the sudden wave of work, Niall found himself staying on campus much later than he used to. Sometimes, he'd return home even after Harry had.

As for Harry, work carried on as usual after Christmas came and went. Work had always tired him out by the end of the day; only, he was unable to come home to Niall, as he usually would. Harry understood that Niall had more coursework now that the school year was whittling down, but sometimes he wished Niall would come home, instead of spending countless hours in the library, and even more afterward with friends.

That's another thing that Harry noticed; Niall had started to spend a lot more time with his friends during the weekend. What used to just be Friday nights, suddenly turned into Saturday nights, and sometimes he'd miss him on Sunday too.

One night, Niall had finally crawled into bed next to Harry after working on a project that he stupidly put off, at almost three in the morning. Harry was already asleep, obviously, and thankfully Niall didn't rouse him. It's been quite a while since Niall's come to bed this late, but it was only a matter of time before it happened again, since he has been coming to bed later and later since May began.

Strangely enough, Niall couldn't fall asleep when he did lay down. He started feeling a bit of stomach pain as soon as his head hit the pillow. He wondered if it might have been because it was so late and he hasn't eaten since seven, but that wouldn't make sense; he's gone longer without food and he's always been fine. He shrugged it off, cuddling up next to Harry.

Harry subconsciously wrapped his arm around Niall, shuffling a bit so he could get comfortable again. Niall smiled when he felt Harry's arm settle against his back.

It was a bit later that Niall's stomach felt like it dropped, shaking the boy back into consciousness. He curled in on himself, trying to will the pain away with his mind. Niall sat up, Harry's arm sliding off him in the process. His stomach felt like it was trying to flip itself to settle whatever it is that's bothering him. Niall thought over everything he ate today, wondering if he might have gotten food poisoning from his half-assed meal of beans on toast. It might just be a bit of gas, he decides.

Niall quietly leaves the bed and tries to head to the bathroom, but the pain seems to double when he stands up, but he doesn't have the energy to lift himself back onto the bed, so he finds himself dropping to the floor, gripping the carpet between his fingers and irritating the skin right around his nails, especially on his middle finger, where he had accidentally bitten the nail off down too low.

By the time four rolled around, Niall was still crouched, but the pain had subsided enough to where he could get back up, deciding to get into bed again instead of heading to the bathroom. He crawled back next to Harry, who still hadn't woken up.

Niall didn't cuddle into Harry again, not wanting to throw his body about again, like he did when he fled the bed the first time. Thankfully, the pain didn't return, so Niall was able to get a few hours of sleep in before he had to get up for school.

When Harry woke up a few hours later, he immediately noticed that Niall wasn't in his arms. Harry was slightly awake when Niall got into bed, and was able to muster enough energy so he could wrap an arm around him, before he fell back into his peaceful slumber. Harry opened his eyes wider to see the lump that was Niall, laying a few inches away from Harry in a slight fetal position. Harry didn't think much of it, and continued to get out of bed so he could get ready for work. He reset the alarm as well, as he normally does, so Niall would wake up on time. Harry's not very fond of waking Niall up and, judging by his position now, he seemed to have a tough time sleeping last night. Niall would normally fall right to sleep as soon as he got in bed, barely moving an inch by the time he woke up.

After Harry had gotten ready, he went back over to his lover to give him a kiss goodbye. Niall was never awake and probably didn't even know that Harry did it every morning, making Harry jump slightly when he saw that Niall's eyes were wide open.

"Hey, love, what's wrong?" Harry asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry pushed Niall's hair back that was matted against the side of his head, fluffing it up slightly.

Niall turned over slightly so he could see Harry better, "I didn't know you woke up before the sun was up."

"The sun is up," Harry chuckles, motioning to the window. "You just can't see it because the curtains are closed."

"Oh." Niall turns over so he's laying on his back. "Why don't you stay a little longer?"

Harry stops laughing, "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just thinking we could have breakfast together." Niall sits up slightly, shifting more to the center of the bed.

"I don't have time, sweetie. Traffic is always the worst at the time, and I need to be in by nine." Harry honestly feels bad that he can't stay. Niall frowns a little, but nods. "But how about tonight? I could make us something, or take you out?"

Niall shakes his head, "That why I was hoping we could do breakfast, because I'm supposed to be meeting Bressie for some serious course review, and then we would go to the pub together afterward. Conor and Laura might meet us there, too."

"Mm, maybe sometime this weekend, then? We could go tomorrow, or Sunday?" Harry asks.

Niall thinks about all the other plans he has to study this weekend, as he and Bressie decided that they would spend a lot of time reviewing with each other since they basically have all the same courses. But, Niall doesn't want to let Harry down, so he says, "Yeah, sometime this weekend would be fine. I'll call Brez later to tell him."

Harry inquired, "Oh, did you have any other plans? Because I don't want you to have to cancel anything that's already been decided."

"Well, Brez and I did plan to study quite a bit more this weekend, now that the major tests and projects are coming up. But, I'll tell him I have something else to do."

"What did I just tell you?" Harry shakes his head, laughing slightly. "I don't want you to cancel anything that's already been figured out. Plus, your education is much more important, okay? So go and study with Bressie this weekend, and I'll think of something that doesn't make our schedules collide so much."

"You sure? You don't mind that I'm spending so much time with Brez?" Niall worries that Harry might get annoyed with how often Niall seems to mention him, or his other friends. They both just need some time together, but since their schedules clash, they rarely have time for dates and alone time. They see each other sleeping more than they see each other awake, it seems.

"Of course not. I'm happy that you have friends, and that you're taking your class work so seriously." Harry leans over to kiss Niall, pressing his hand against his cheek to keep his balance in this strange position. "I've gotta go to work now, love. I'll see you tonight."

"Mm, bye Harry." Niall lays back down and cuddles under the covers.

"I love you, baby." Harry heads over to the door so he can grab his jacket, glancing back at Niall when he hears some him shuffling in bed.

"Love you, too." Niall gets into a more comfortable position and falls asleep almost instantly, making Harry smile. He walks over to check the alarm again, making sure it's for the right time and loud enough so Niall will hear it. Afterwards, he leans down to kiss Niall's cheek, which he originally planned to do before he say that Niall was awake.

"Have a good day, sweetheart." Harry whispers, standing back up and leaving for work.

_-_-_

Harry and Niall were never able to correlate their schedules enough to where they could go out. There were many nights that they would come home, but were too tired to leave the house. Picnic dates in their living room would have to suffice until Niall was out of classes for the summer.

Harry would never let Niall cancel on his friends during the weekends, and Niall didn't want to bother Harry too much after work during the week. It's gotten to the point again where Niall doesn't even ask if Harry wants to tag along, or if he'd rather Niall didn't go. Their time spent together had grown limited, and it seems that they spend more time together when they're asleep than they do any other time. Sometimes, very rarely, Niall or Harry would get home around the exact same time, and they would cook dinner together as a way of bonding. Yet, due to their exhaustion after class and work, that was the most they could do before Harry would drag himself to bed, as Niall continued course work and revising for his final exams, which are getting closer and more intimidating each day.

Niall's schedule of coming to bed late during the night, sometimes crawling in after three, became almost a nightly occurrence. Harry had grown so used to it that he doesn't wake up when he does so. Sadly, Niall's insomnia has started to take over his sleep schedule, as it seems that every night, around 3:30 or 4, Niall would be awoken by sudden pains in his stomach. He's too proud to let Harry know, if he doesn't already, but he does have an annual doctor's check-up on Friday that might be able to help him out a bit.

Niall doesn't like looking anything up when something seems detrimental to his health, as it seems that the internet likes to dramatize everything, and it would make him more worried than he believes he should be.

Little to his knowledge, Harry already does know about Niall's nightly occurrences, only, he doesn't know exactly what's keeping the boy awake. Niall downplays everything, as he doesn't want to worry his lover, so Harry had done some investigating during the weekends when Niall is out with friends, whether he be studying or at the pub. Harry hasn't been able to pinpoint anything around the house, and is hoping he'll be able to figure something out during the coming nights. Niall rarely ever leaves the bed during his pains, but would instead just sit up and look at himself in the mirror on their dresser that's directly in front of their bed, which makes Harry wonder if something is really wrong with Niall at all.

Niall never leaves the bed, solely because most of his pains usually wear off after half an hour or so, and most nauseous feelings go away as long as he stays sitting up during the time that his pains appear. He also doesn't want to cause a ruckus, as he did on the first night this occurred, and accidentally wake Harry up. The last thing he needs is Harry badgering him for information he doesn't have. Not only that, but Harry would automatically assume the worst, and jump to conclusions and immediately make Niall see someone.

When Niall returned home that Friday, he couldn't stop wondering if the doctor was correct by sending Niall home without a proper diagnosis. Niall had mentioned that it had been a nightly occurrence, pointing to the regions where he had felt pain the most. He mentioned the nausea and the toll it has been taking on his sleep patterns. Yet, the doctor only noted that it was probably a bit of stress and unhealthy eating habits that were affecting him so much. He had advised Niall to take it a bit easier to see if that helps it, but Niall knew that he wouldn't be able to do that very well, with how close the end of his semester was. Niall did plan on spending less time going out to the pub on the weekends, hoping to whittle it back to only Friday nights, leaving Saturday and Sunday to rest his body.

While Niall had been getting ready to leave, Harry had just walked into the apartment after a long day of work, and an even more exhausting drive home through unbearable traffic. Harry smiled at his lover when he entered their room, only getting a nod in return. "You off?" Harry asked as he started to take his own clothes off.

"Yeah, Brez is gonna be picking me up." Niall replied as he decided to go with a short-sleeve instead, peeling off the long blue shirt he had tried on before. It's still pretty cold, but the pub wouldn't be, so he'll just bring a jacket.

Harry looked at Niall strangely, but the look didn't last long as he tripped over by trying to take one of his boots off. "Oh? Breslin will be picking you up? Where are you two off to?"

"We're just going to the pub," Niall takes his time while looking for a nice t-shirt, holding in his laugh when Harry has to lean against the bed in order to get his boot off. "Brez thought that it'd be a good idea if we'd go together and meet Conor and Laura. Since I seem to get a bit more smashed than he does, he offered to drive me home tonight."

"Oh," Harry is finally able to drop the boots down, and begins to unbutton his shirt. "Well, that was nice of him. When do you think you'll be home?" Harry gets slightly suspicious; Niall had never rode with Bressie before, not that he knows of.

"Normal time, probably. But don't worry, you'll get me all day tomorrow." Niall sends a cheeky smile at Harry, who stops what he's doing to look back up at Niall.

"You don't have any plans tomorrow?" His eyes are shining. "Wait, don't tell me you canceled on your friends just so you could stay home with me. You know I don't want you to ever do that for me."

"Nah, it's more for me. I went to the doctor today."

"What?" Harry stands up quickly, striding over to Niall. "Is something wrong? Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me?"

Niall laughs at Harry's worried tone, putting his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I'm fine, baby. It was just a checkup. The doctor told me that I seemed kind of stressed," Niall decided not to mention his lack of sleep, because he knows it would worry him even more. "So he told me to take it a bit easier until I get back on the right track."

"Mm, that's great, love. I wish you would have told me that you had a checkup; I would have gone with you," Harry smiles at his lover. He knows that Niall doesn't need him there with him, but Harry loves going with Niall, just to make sure Nial follows all the directions and tasks that the doctor told him to do. He also likes to know if Niall's okay, even if it is just a checkup.

"I didn't want it to interfere with your work schedule, even though I know you're gonna say 'oh you could never interfere' because I know how you are," Niall laughs when Harry glares at him playfully. "And it was just something that I needed to do on my own. You don't always have to come with me when I have a check-up, or a dentist's appointment, or something like that."

Although Niall didn't say it with a harsh tone, Harry took slight offense to it. Niall knows how much Harry loves to make sure he's okay, and that's the only reason he comes with him. But, Harry doesn't say anything, because he knows Niall didn't mean it like that, so instead, he asks, "Mhm, how's everything else, then? Did he give you any instructions on what you should do to combat this stress, or anything else regarding your health?"

"Nah," Niall shakes his head, turning back around so he could look in the mirror, pulling the shirt down a further before deciding on a pair of black trousers. "He just told me to lighten my work-load if I could, and take it a bit easy when it comes to my eating. Apparently, I've actually gained some weight." Harry laughs, as they both know Niall has a tough time gaining weight, with how fast his metabolism is. "That's why I've decided to lighten my pub visits with friends, because I'm pretty sure it's all the drinking that's added a few pounds. From now on, I'll be going back to strictly Friday nights."

"Oh, love, do you think that's the right thing to do?" Harry inquires. He know how stress can affect a person, as he had copious amounts to deal with when he was in school, that sometimes lead to sudden panic attacks before or after major tests, as he'd worry too much about them. He had done something similar to Niall; he focused most of his life on his studies and cut out almost all interaction with other people outside of group projects. His life had become miserable, and the night before a major test, Harry had actually thrown up due to stress, anxiety, and lack of pleasure in his life. He had been so groggy the next morning that he actually fell asleep during the exam, waking up just in time to finish everything, and thankfully, he had gotten a decent grade.

This had all happened before Niall came into his life, nearly seven years ago at this stage, and he's unsure if Niall even knows that Harry has ever had serious panic attacks that nearly hospitalized him.

"What are you getting at?" Niall asks, jumping a little so his pants slide up his legs better. Maybe he has gained quite a bit of weight.

"Maybe you should cut back on revising a bit, and keep your weekend schedule pretty similar to how it is now." Niall furrows his eyebrows. "You're a social person, and you might become miserable if you drown yourself in class-work, alone."

Niall considers his options. He does like going out with his friends, but he's more worried about his school work now that there's only a few weeks left of school. Plus, he does want to lose the weight that he's gained, and cutting back on mindless drinking might help him a bit.

Harry smiles slightly, grabbing Niall's hand, "Look, you don't have to listen to me. I just know how tough school is, especially now that you're in the last month when everything seems to become more real." Harry kisses his lover's hand, before leaning forward to kiss him on the lips instead.

Niall enjoys the kiss, and tries to make Harry come back when he leans away. They finish off with a small peck. "I get what you're saying, and I'll consider it. I just want to try this way first, and if it seems things are going wrong, I'll start doing what you recommend. I just don't want to mess anything up."

"You won't, love." Harry runs his hand through Niall's hair and plays with it a bit, as Niall always does the same to him since his hair is so long and easy to mess around with. "You'll do great, and in a few years, you'll be able to graduate and all that school-stress will feel insignificant."

Niall goes to reply, but his phone goes off right at that moment. Harry drops his hands and steps back from Niall, allowing him to disappear behind him. Harry carries on with unbuttoning his shirt and discards it into their laundry bin, along with his pants and socks. He slips on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, turning around to see that Niall is texting someone with a small smile on his face.

"Brez is here." He notes to Harry, who sighs and walks over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him.

"Have a nice time, my love." Harry kisses his cheek and crawls into bed, setting his pillow upright against the headboard and shuffling under the covers.

Niall heads back over to the closet and closes the doors, sliding on a pair of socks and then boots. "Bye, Harry."

"I love you," Harry calls out as Niall is leaving the bedroom.

Niall glances back at Harry, who now has a book in his hands and is finding the page where he must have left his book-mark. "Love you, too."

Harry smiles, hearing the door close and beginning to read the page that he'd left off on.

_-_-_

It seems that Niall has already grown tired of sitting at home and doing nothing on the weekends. He's always been a person who didn't like spending extended amounts of times at home, even if he has someone there with him. He would become bored and try to look for things to do, which would sometimes lead to him hanging out with friends during the day, instead of going out to the pub at night. Niall doesn't mind, though; his sleeping patterns have gotten a bit better since this new schedule change.

Harry had embraced Niall's schedule, even though he has noticed that Niall does seem to spend even more time working on school work and revising. Yet, Niall does look well-rested and healthier than he did before his schedule change, so it must be having some positive impact. Harry has rarely caught Niall waking up in the middle of the night anymore, which is a good sign.

Now that the students are in their last two weeks, it seems that a lot more students have started revising and getting those final good grades so they can pass, and for some, graduate. There have been multiple instances where Niall has a hard time finding a seat in the library, and would often spend time studying in Bressie's room, or back home. There has also been a few students who have asked him if he'd like to meet up with them sometime so they could study together. Most of them were people he had already studied or worked with before, so he would often take them up on their offers. Yet, Bressie is the only person he would study with on the weekends, since he knows him the best, and Bressie knows his situation with trying to take it easier.

Harry never likes complaining to Niall, as he knows that they have lives outside of each other, but Harry does feel slightly neglected now that the final exams are only days away. Harry knows that Niall would never ask him if he'd stay home from work, and he feels selfish for wanting to hold Niall to his original plan, on spending the weekends just to relax. There have been many occurrences where Harry had been left alone in the apartment on Saturday and Sunday, similar to how it had been before, only during the day this time. Most of Niall's interactions with Harry would be during dinner, or as they're going to sleep.

Much to Harry's surprise, Niall seems perfectly content with this new schedule. Harry could have sworn that Niall promised that the weekends would just be their time to spend together, at least until school ends, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Harry never likes to assume the worst, but he can't help but do so when Niall willingly runs off to study with Breslin.

That Friday, Harry nonchalantly mentions something, "Why don't you stay home this weekend?"

"Hm?" Niall hums, lifting his body from where it was slumped over the table. He had been typing something up for an assignment in his English class, and his body had subconsciously curling in slightly so he was level with the screen.

"You've been working a lot over the last few weeks. I think you deserve a break." Harry leaned against the table off to Niall's side. "You should stay home this weekend, just to rest your body."

"That's what my original plan was," Niall goes back to typing, paying more attention to spelling everything right than answering Harry properly. "But sitting at home all weekend is so boring."

Harry frowns slightly, "It doesn't have to be boring. We could do something, y'know."

"And what would we do?" Niall inquires, although, he isn't really paying much attention as he tries to think of a better word to use in his paper.

"Look, you don't have to stay home. You just seem so exhausted from all your revising, I just thought you might want to rest up for now. Your exams are only in a few days; you shouldn't overwork yourself."

Niall stops typing and looks up at Harry. "I want to make sure I'm ready. Bressie has been helping me a lot."

"I know." Harry replies, trying not to seem like their friendship bothers him any. Harry's not one to be jealous, which he isn't. He's just confounded and a bit envious of how much time Niall is dedicating to his friend. "He's a great friend to you, but sometimes studying hard the night before exams start could make you not have enough energy for the actual test." Harry goes behind Niall and rests his hands on each of Niall's shoulders. Niall's head falls back when Harry begins to massage his shoulders, his fingers working into the knots that have formed in his muscles. "You're so tense, love."

Niall tries to focus back on his work, typing up a few more words, until Harry's fingers work their way around Niall's neck, his thumb still pressed into Niall's collarbone. Harry rubs his neck a bit before pressing his fingers deep in Niall's skin, right underneath the first ridge of Niall's spine. Niall groans out and arches his back, trying to get away from Harry's skilled hands. Harry had pressed right into a knot that has been forming since school started, and a slight bit of pain shot up his spine.

Harry's fingers follow Niall's back as he soothes the spot he had harshly pressed on, rubbing circles into it before pushing into it again. Harry was enjoying this way too much, and if this is the only way he can get Niall to stay home, he'll keep on until Niall's back is clear of all tension. "Does that feel good, sweetheart?" The pet name makes Niall groans, as it just doesn't seem to fit with Harry's sensual tone.

Niall allows Harry to pull him away from his computer, as he had completely forgotten about what he was even writing about. Harry's hand is gripping tightly around Niall's wrist as he pulls him to the bedroom, albeit, the couch was much closer and Niall wishes he had brought him there instead.

"Get in the center, love. On your stomach." Niall complied with Harry's words, stuffing his arms under the pillow and lying his head down so he can see Harry. His lover had crawled on top of Niall, straddling Niall's bum and pushing his shirt up. Niall lifted his upper body so his shirt would come off completely; Harry pushes it far enough so it's over Niall's head, and Niall uses his hands to pull it off his arms and throw the shirt somewhere across the room. He had aimed for the laundry bin, but he feels it landed a few feet short.

Harry eyed Niall's back up and down, searching for a proper place to start. He can see where Niall's skin has tinged red where Harry had worked his fingers before. He decided to start there, finishing off that knot so he could move on. Harry's hands rub Niall's shoulders, searching for any tension. Niall cranks his head so he can see his boyfriend; Harry smiles at him when his fingers find a knot just under his shoulder. His fingers knead the skin, pushing down into the muscle directly.

The massage had continued on for an extended period of time, Harry working all the way down Niall's back to knead away all the tension, leaving Niall relaxed and tired. There were many instances where Harry had found large knots that must have been there for many months. "When's the last time you've been given a proper massage?" Harry asks as he laid down next to the boy, rubbing his back in places where he feels he might have pushed too hard. There are now many red splotches all over Niall's back.

"Mm, never." Niall groans as Harry's hand runs over a slightly tender piece of skin. "I never realised how tense my back was."

"Well, I'm happy I was your first." Harry didn't mean for it to come out so sexually, and he's hoping Niall didn't get the wrong idea. As much as they both love the passion they share during love-making, it just doesn't seem to fit the atmosphere of the situation right now.

"I am, too." Niall rolled over so he could face Harry, leaning forward and kissing his lover. "Thank you."

Harry pulls Niall back after he leans away to check the time. Friday nights are usually when Niall goes out with friends, but Harry was hoping he'd be able to distract him long enough that Niall wouldn't leave. "You're welcome, sweetie." Niall accepts Harry's slight clingy nature, allowing himself to be pulled back. Harry shuffles down in the bed slightly so he can rest his head on Niall's chest.

Niall smiles down at his boyfriend, loving the way that Harry closes his eyes and snuggles into him, Harry's leg swinging over Niall's to hold his body to his own. "Niall?" Harry mumbles, shuffling up a bit so he can see him better. Niall blinks and smiles lightly, kissing Harry's nose, as he couldn't reach his lips in this position. "Would it be okay if I took a nap?"

Niall nods, and it doesn't take long for Harry to shuffle back into his original position, pressing his face further into Niall's chest and embracing his warmth. Niall had caught sight of the time just before Harry pulled him back, and he has nearly an hour before Bressie would be coming to pick him up to go to the pub. He's content with letting Harry take a short nap on him before he leaves.

"I love you," Harry whispers. He's unsure if Niall even heard him, and guesses that he hadn't when Niall doesn't reply.

_-_-_

The following Thursday, Niall's final exams begin. He wasn't too worried about the first few; it was what's coming next week that's he's been spending months preparing for. During the week, Niall spent nearly everyday with Bressie for studying, even though Harry has offered countless times that he'd be fine with helping Niall prepare.

"Bressie knows this material, Harry. I trust him," Harry hates to admit it, but it sent daggers into his heart when he heard Niall's reason for rejection.

Niall wouldn't return home until late at night, long after Harry had eaten dinner and was possibly already in bed. Harry would rarely fall asleep without his lover there, as his mind kept filling with dumb thoughts that caused him to become restless. His body seemed to fully relax when he heard the front door click, alarming him that Niall was home.

That Friday, Niall didn't go to the pub with his friends. He hadn't stayed home with Harry, though, either. He had gone to Bressie's to study, and ended up falling asleep in his car as he prepared to leave. By the time he woke up, it was already dark out and his phone notifications took many scrolls to reach the bottom.

Missed calls, text messages, and voicemails littered his lockscreen, nearly two each from Bressie, Laura, and Conor. It was the abundance of missed calls and desperate voicemails after each that had gone unanswered from Harry that took up most of his notifications. Few text messages were sent by Harry, as he saw texting to be inconsistent and useless when it comes to reaching people. He prefers to hear someone so he knows exactly what they're feeling, instead of trying to decipher the ambiguity in a text message.

Niall had gone through all his notifications before he remembered to check the time, noticing that it was nearly midnight. No wonder everyone had become so worried; Niall seemed to disappear off the face of the earth for over eight hours. Only, Niall hadn't bothered to call or text anyone back to let them know he was okay, as he assumed all his friends would be smashed by now, and Harry would already be asleep.

Harry wasn't asleep. How could he possibly sleep when his boyfriend never returned home? Harry wouldn't have thought much of it - it is Friday, after all. Niall's weekly, planned day for socialising - until Bressie had stopped by their apartment to pick up the boy.

It was the first time Harry had encountered any of Niall's friends directly, instead of just hearing about them through his lover. The exchange of details was awkward; Bressie explained that Niall had left just shy of four, and planned to stop home for a while. Harry looked around as if Niall would just magically appear to settle Harry's nerves, to deplete his intensified anxiety.

Only, Niall hadn't appeared, and Harry clumsily explains to Bressie that Niall hadn't been home since he left this morning. Harry would often come home to an empty apartment, now that Niall's taking extreme measures to prepare for his exams, but he was always informed ahead of time, or Harry assumed where he was depending on past experiences. Now that the event occurred where Harry assumed Niall was somewhere, but appears to be elsewhere, his uneasiness reached an all-time high.

Bressie had left soon after, not seeming to be as worried as Harry, which, for some reason, sickens Harry. The idea that Bressie knows more about what Niall must be doing makes Harry apprehensive, and he begins to question if Niall and Bressie had somehow, possibly become closer to each other, while he and Niall grew apart. It was all false-accusation and assumptions based on overactive nerves, of course, but Harry wasn't in the right mindset to realise that.

Harry's calls to Niall had grown more frequent, as he desperately tried to keep his fear at ease. Niall would always answer his phone within the first two calls - as his phone seems to constantly be attached to his head - unless he was doing something he deemed more important. There have been very rare occasions over the last few years where Harry and Niall aren't sleeping together or around the same time, so Harry hadn't even considered the possibility.

Niall had pulled into his designated parking spot in front of his apartment building, unable to see the glaring lights still on inside his own home, as their apartment existed outside his current view. The elevator had arrived quickly, and Niall was in front of his apartment, searching for his keys, within a minute or two. He tried to stay quiet as he unlocked the door; he usually did so when he assumed Harry was asleep.

Harry's body was restless as he sat on their couch, curled into a ball in his sofa crease. His eyes shot to the door as he heard the key slide in, the purposely hushed sounds of the door-knob being turned having Harry slightly lean forward to see whoever is arriving. It should have been obvious that only Niall would arrive, but Harry's mind has been running wild for the last five hours and he's given up on trying to think rationally.

Niall steps into the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind him before turning around. The position that Harry is in on the sofa keeps him just out of reach from Niall's view, but Harry is able to see Niall perfectly clear. Niall just assumed Harry forgot to turn off the light, or purposefully left is on so Niall wouldn't have to navigate in the dark.

Harry thought seeing Niall would calm his nerves, yet it seemed like it just made his mind wander even further from reality. Where had Niall been? Why was he gone for so long? Why hadn't Niall called, or answered any of his calls? His mind jumbled into a huge mess, causing him to miss Niall gasp of surprise when he rounded the corner and caught sight of his boyfriend, sat in an upright fetal position against the far corner of their couch, his eyes darting around, even though Niall felt Harry wasn't actually seeing anything.

"I didn't know you were still up," Niall said as he retreated back to the door to take off his jacket, remembering how picky Harry gets when Niall throws his clothes across the couch. Niall would have done it anyway, had Harry not been up.

Harry hadn't been paying attention to Niall anymore. His head was filled with nonsense that he couldn't file through, that he couldn't sort to find a logical reason as to why Niall would arrive so late without having gone to the pub.

"Harry?" Niall asks as he seats himself close to Harry, prying the boy away from the corner of the couch. Harry snapped back to reality in that moment, only slightly, and was able to notice any and all physical features that Niall possessed. "What's wrong, baby?"

Harry hadn't been listening fully; he was looking for possibly blemishes that Niall didn't already have. His eyes caught a slight red mark peeking out from under Niall's shirt, what he had assumed to be something worse than just the pressure of Niall's arm being dug into the seat as he slept in the car, a disgustingly awkward position that Niall doesn't understand how he found it comfortable enough to sleep in.

Niall caught Harry's eyes, looking at one eye and shifting to the other as a way of studying Harry. His eyes were slightly foggy and he looked excessively exhausted, but it was obvious that he was unable to fall asleep. "Were you waiting for me?" Niall takes it as a caring gesture, when it was really an act of fear and anxiety on Harry's part.

Harry had continued to stay silent, and Niall guessed Harry was too tired to completely process everything that was happening. Harry allowed Niall to pull him to their bedroom, where they both crawled into bed on their designated sides. Niall sighs as his head hit the pillow, liking this position much more than the one he had taken to in the car.

Neither boy had gotten much sleep that night; Niall due to the extended nap he had taken in place of a full-night's sleep, and Harry's mind was too busy filling him with saddening, depressing feelings that Niall might possibly be cheating on him.

_-_-_

Niall had trouble sleeping over the next few nights as well, as he often found himself falling asleep during the day after studying with Bressie. Niall assumed short naps during the day is better than not sleeping at all, so he accepts the nightly insomnia as something normal.

Harry doesn't feel as if it's normal. Niall isn't home when he falls asleep, but he hasn't mentioned anything to Harry about his whereabouts, and Harry's mind wanders when his lover is away. Harry has caught Niall not getting enough sleep at night, and he tries to convince himself it's due to stress, instead of jumping to conclusions. Harry also noticed that Niall wouldn't always stay in bed when he wasn't sleeping, and would often get up and go out to the living room. Their walls are quite thick so Harry doesn't know what Niall's doing during the night, yet, from Niall's perspective, it's completely innocent; he would only spend a bit longer studying until he was tired enough to fall asleep.

Harry briefly mentioned something to Niall about nightly disappearances, but Niall shrugged it off without a proper explanation. Niall doesn't feel it should need an explanation; he thought it was pretty obvious, but it's really throwing Harry for a loop. Harry has lost a bit of sleep, too, due to his thoughts constantly keeping him awake.

Neither of the boys iterate on their perspective, especially during the week as Niall's hardest exam draws closer and closer. Harry had to go back to work, barely being able to get much done, due to sleep deprivation and his thoughts being elsewhere. Niall's final few days of studying would seemingly run him into the ground, if it wasn't for his daily naps. Bressie would usually let Niall sleep in his dorm if he didn't have anywhere to go, and if not, Niall would end up falling asleep in the car again. He'd never take his naps at home, as he's just too tired to drive all the way back to his and Harry's shared apartment.

Niall's final exam is on a Thursday, a full week after his exams initially started, and Niall's unsure if he's okay with his hardest test being his last. He's already quite burnt out from all the other exams, but Niall just uses that as motivation to study more. He wouldn't want to grow lackadaisical for the test he knows will challenge him the most. Niall hadn't taken proper procedures on the last day before the exam, which everyone would usually leave for lighter studying and more time to get rest, and instead spend at least three hours extra for revising, with Bressie and in his own time.

Niall's nap hadn't lasted nearly as long as his other few, and he managed to get home right after Harry was washing his dishes from supper. Since Niall knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, he planned to prepare himself an easy meal to eat during more revision.

"Oh, you're home early," Harry tries to keep the excitement out of his voice; this is the first time this week that Harry has seen Niall outside of sleeping. "I would have made you something if I knew."

"That's alright, baby, I'll just have a microwave meal." Niall is already pulling his studying material out from his bag and organizing it on the table.

Harry's smile dims, "Uh, what do you want? I can--"

"You don't need to worry, Harry. I'm sure you're tired from your long day at work; why don't you go head to bed?" Niall grabs the freezer door that Harry would have opened if he had been closer to it.

"I'm not too tired, love. I can make you your dinner." Harry tries to edge Niall away from the freezer, slightly forcing him back to his seat at the table. Harry feels obligated to make Niall something, especially now that his mind has been taken over by thoughts of Niall growing unfaithful due to Harry's lack of proper care for his lover. "What do you want? I had a few pancakes, I could make that for you? I'd just have to clean the pan first." Harry eyes the pan that's been left soaking in the sink. He planned to scrub it down the next morning when he woke up, giving it a full night for the remaining contents to loosen.

Niall starts to make his way back to the freezer, but Harry doesn't let him. "Harry,"

"Please," Harry pleads, resting his hands on Niall's shoulders. "Let me treat you before your big exam tomorrow."

"You know about that?" Niall remembers mentioning the exam schedule to Harry quite a while ago, but it had been right before they made love for the first time in months, so Niall thought Harry forgot about it.

"Of course, and I know how stressed you must be about it. I promise, darling, you're gonna ace it." Harry runs a finger across Niall cheek, his mind flashing to an image of a faceless character doing the same to his lover, and he tries to hide the wince his imagination had caused.

"I hope so," Niall lets Harry lead him back to the seat, and Niall opens his notebook to an old test he had missed some questions on. "I just need to keep studying and stay focused."

"Love, are you sure you should be studying this much on the night before the exam? Cramming isn't always the best idea." Harry recalls a time he had crammed for a test he'd forgotten about, and he was only able to study his notes for a few minutes before the test began. His grade wasn't as good as Harry had hoped it would be, and that taught him to always give himself time to study, and time to relax before the test so he's not worrying as much.

"I'm not cramming; I've been studying for ages, I just feel I didn't fully grasp this concept and I want to go over it again."

Harry frowns, glancing at Niall's test and noticing the large "86%" written at the top of the paper. Niall had only missed a few questions, yet he's worrying so much about those that cost him a perfect grade. But, he doesn't want to anger his boyfriend and cause him even more stress, so he instead rubs at Niall's shoulder, leaning down to kiss his cheek, and asking, "So, pancakes?"

Niall laughs and nods, his mind already focused back on revising.

A few hours later, Niall had enjoyed a nice meal of fluffy pancakes and syrup, being extra careful to not get any on his papers. Harry had since gone to bed, kissing his lover good-night after doing the dishes again. Niall didn't realise that Harry took his plate after he finished; he was too occupied by the numerous papers he was cross-referencing for the correct information.

Harry's mind had felt quite at ease compared to the last few nights, as Niall had come home at a reasonable time and Niall seemed just as in love with Harry as he was before exam season began. That had calmed Harry's nerves enough to make him fall asleep without Niall, though, he was roused when Niall crawled into bed around midnight. Harry felt compelled to let Niall know he felt him, as he was conscious enough to move closer to his boyfriend and cuddle into him. Harry's head had rested against Niall's chest, his arms wrapping around Niall and their legs tangling together.

"I love you," Harry whispered. Harry wasn't sure if Niall heard him or not.

Niall hadn't heard him; not because Harry was whispering, but because Niall's mind had been elsewhere ever since he left his revision material. Niall had been going over all the answers he had stupidly answered wrong on the tests, hoping he didn't do anything like that on his exam. He was also thinking about all the things he still felt slightly confused about, or at least he thought he was confused about. Niall felt like there were so many things he looked over in his notes, making him feel as if he'll fail without all of it.

Niall wants to leave the bed again to go study, but the feeling of Harry tightly pressed against him makes him wonder if it's worth disturbing his lover's sleep. Only, Harry wasn't asleep yet. Niall's tense muscles caught Harry's attention as he embraced him, and the only time Harry remembers Niall ever being tense around him was at the beginning of their relationship - when Niall wasn't ready to tell his parents that he was dating a man quite a bit older than him, when they were making love for the first time, when Niall's thoughts were flashing to ideas of Harry becoming unfaithful back when he was being slightly secretive about his whereabouts. The last memory catches Harry and makes his throat swell, his breath getting slightly heavier as Niall writhed in his arms. Harry knows Niall was tense when he thought Harry was cheating on him; would that mean he'd be tense when he was cheating on Harry?

They hadn't slept in this position in quite a while, so Harry doesn't know that this is the first night that Niall's felt this tense and anxious, but similar vibes are coming off him, due to him not sleeping and not acknowledging Harry when he initially scooted closer to him. Harry thinks that Niall had been tense the whole time over the last few weeks, feeling guilty that he's become unfaithful.

Niall was squirming in Harry's tight grip, trying to escape from him so he can run back to his notes and check to see if the answer he's thinking of for something is correct. Harry's fingers are pressing further into Niall's skin the more he moves around, until Niall finally reaches down and pulls Harry off him, leaving the room quickly.

Harry's heart palpitates as Niall rushes out, feeling like he caused Niall to grow anxious and annoyed by his clingy nature. Harry still doesn't know the reason as to why Niall would sometimes leave in the middle of the night, but now that Niall had purposely broken from his grip, Harry breaks. He feels his throat clenching as he tries to catch his breath, trying to keep himself calm. Harry thinks it's a combination of stress for the exam and guilty feelings that caused Niall to want to leave so abruptly, but Harry can't focus on thinking right now. If he does, he'll just think worse things and might cause himself to fall ill.

Niall had remained at the dining table for half an hour more, going over all the notes he looked over to make sure he has them all embedded in his brain. Even still, he felt as if he could never be prepared for this exam. His stomach begins to hurt as he stands to close the books, the feeling causing him to double over and scramble to grab something in case he needs to throw up into it. After a minute or two, the feeling fades slightly, just enough that Niall can stand back up and pack away the rest of his stuff. Another spell of nausea hits as he's heading back to his and Harry's room, and he just barely makes it to the bathroom before doubling over again.

Niall throws up Harry's meal of pancakes and syrup.

As for Harry, he's manages to calm himself enough by taking deep breaths, relaxing himself by focusing on the rhythmic breathing. He counts in his head to keep a steady beat, feeling tired after he's finally calmed himself. Harry yawns and tries to get comfortable again. It's then that Niall enters the room again, getting into bed next to Harry and turning his back on him. Harry subconsciously cuddles into Niall's back, only to fall flat on his face when Niall moves closer to the edge. Harry doesn't allow this and moves, again, to Niall's back and presses against him, wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him in place.

Niall doesn't feel comfortable having Harry against him, as he doesn't want to worry him just in case he gets another spell. Niall turns over to face Harry, lifting the man up slightly and moving him onto his own side of the bed. Again, Harry tries to move closer, fully conscious due to Niall's strange, withdrawn behaviour.

"Harry, stop." Niall demands, pushing Harry away again. Niall knows that Harry's awake now that he's attempted to keep close to him multiple times.

Harry doesn't listen, pulling Niall to him this time and grabbing him around the waist with a tight grip, not wanting Niall to leave. Harry may have calmed himself, but he knows if Niall continues to act aloof, it won't stay that way for long.

"Stop it, Harry. Stop trying to get close to me," Niall didn't mean for it to sound indignant, but Harry gets the wrong idea by taking what he says both ways.

Harry begins to breathe faster again, trying to keep Niall against him for longer. When Niall manually removes Harry's arms from around himself, he doesn't notice the acceleration in Harry's breathing speed. In fact, Niall's too worried about the fact that his stomach has started to hurt again, that he doesn't realise how worked up his lover has become.

Niall leaves the bed again when his stomach drops, and Harry's left to calm himself again. He can't manage to control his breath by the time Niall's returned, and tears have begun to form in Harry's eyes, his mind racing and his throat closing up.

Niall hadn't thrown up when he left for the second time, as he doesn't have anything left to get out, and it's only when he hears Harry's quickened breath after leaving the bathroom that he rushes back to the bed.

"Love, what's wrong?" Niall crawls into the bed and scoops his lover up, who has curled himself into the fetal position. Harry is unable to speak, for multiple reasons, but mostly because he wasn't able to focus on what Niall was saying. His mind was wandering, assuming; he's unable to think rationally. His head was full of ideas and images of Niall leaving him, and the feeling sickens him. He begins to sweat. "Harry?"

Harry acknowledges Niall by gripping onto him, burying his face in Niall's neck and trying to breath in his scent. The smell is unable to reach him as his breath is so laboured, making him panic even more. The last time this had happened, he blacked-out due to lack of oxygen, but he had been alone and woke up hours later with a pounding heading and a raw throat. Niall's never seen Harry have a panic attack, so he doesn't connect the strange behaviour to what he has sometimes gone through himself.

Niall pushes Harry away so he can look at him, studying his facial features and listening to Harry's gasps, and he's unsure how to react. What had happened in the time he'd been away? Harry desperately tries to cuddle up to Niall again; he doesn't like the feeling of being pushed away.

Harry's eyes flutter as he's unable to get a full breath into his lungs, his grip on Niall getting tighter as he weakly pulls Niall into him. Niall still doesn't understand what's going on, but he does know that Harry wants Niall to try and comfort him, if he can. Niall lifts Harry's head from where it's been pressed into his chest, "Breathe, love. Shh," Niall tells his lover, lifting him up further in his lap so they're eye to eye. Niall begins to breathe deeply himself, trying to motion that he wants Harry to follow his lead. He also counts aloud, making sure they're making eye-contact.

Harry grips onto Niall's nape, pulling their faces closer together so Harry can feel Niall's breath hitting his cheek. His other hand comes up to scrunch Niall's shirt into a ball, Harry's fist resting against Niall's chest. His eyes close momentarily so he can use all his energy to try and focus on Niall's breathing hitting his cheek.

"No, darling, look at me please." Niall doesn't want Harry to close his eyes, because he fears that his boyfriend will fall unconscious if he allows himself to close his eyes. "Let me see your eyes, Harry."

Harry flutters his eyes open slightly, glancing up at Niall, but his vision has begun to grow fuzzy and he can only make out the silhouette of his lover. Niall's eyes are wide and desperate as he holds Harry against him, but Harry falls out of it and his body begins to shut down.

"No, no, no," Niall continues as he props Harry's head up in his hand. Harry's body has begun to lose its tension; his shoulders fall and he mouth gapes open, air finally being able to pass his lips as his throat unclenches. "Harry, wake up. Please."

Harry's head falls back onto the pillow lightly as all energy leaves his body, his mind having completely shut down. He can't feel Niall grow frantic against him, he can't feel Niall propping him up against the headboard as thinks of what to do, he can't feel Niall breathing into his mouth in a messed up form of CPR that would definitely not have saved Harry if it came to that.

_-_-_

The following day, Harry wakes up to an empty bed, a sore throat, and a note on his nightstand. His eyes are blurry as he reaches for the note, making him have to blink multiple times before he can make out Niall's scrawly, smudged hand-writing. The note is short and rushed; assumedly something Niall wrote right as he was leaving for class. The only important contents are that Niall called in for Harry, and that he will be home by noon.

Harry's eyes then glance at the alarm clock that's placed on the other side of the room, the large green letters showing that it's just passed 11. Harry's unsure if he should roll out of bed to make himself something to eat, even though he's still quite exhausted and the pillow looks inviting.

His decision is proved to be the latter when he wakes up to the sound of Niall entering the room, looking slightly discouraged as he removes his shoes. When he turns around and notices Harry, he perks up slightly.

"Are you alright?" Niall asks and makes his way towards the bed. Harry nods and smiles as his boyfriend, reaching for him. "Do you need anything?"

"No," Harry answers, but his voice is hoarse and broken. He shakes his head as well to make sure Niall understood him.

Niall leaves the bedside to remove the rest of his clothing, changing into something more comfortable. "I'll bring you a cup of water." Harry moves to sit up, as a way of offering that he'll be fine without it, but Niall has already left the room when he goes to say something.

Harry lays back down, situating his head in the crevice he left in his pillow, awaiting Niall's return. Harry's mind was hazy when he first woke up, but now that he's been given a few moments, he understands why Niall is acting the way he is. When Niall returns with the cup of water, Harry takes three big gulps of the liquid before handing the cup back. Niall places it on his own nightstand before pulling the covers on his side back and settling in next to Harry. Niall makes the first move to pull Harry into him, allowing the man to snuggle into his neck and wrap his arm around Niall's waist.

"Have you just woken up?" Niall asks after a few moments in order to break the silence, and hopefully easing some of the tension in the room.

"Mhm. How was your exam?" Harry doesn't want to get into the topic of what happened last night just yet, so he goes for what he knows must be occupying Niall's mind, even if only slightly.

Niall, however, doesn't agree with Harry on the topic when he replies. "I'm more worried about you than some exam." Niall didn't mean for it to come out harshly, and he hopes Harry doesn't get upset at his tone.

"I'm alright, Niall, and I want to know how your exam went. You've been worried about it for months now. I'm sure you aced it."

"Even if I did, Harry, I won't be getting my scores back any time soon. I spent too much time worrying about that stupid exam, when I should have been worried about you." Niall pauses, giving Harry a chance to intervene. When Harry stays silent, Niall continues, "What happened last night completely threw me for a loop. I thought you were going to die, Harry."

Harry murmurs, "I wouldn't have."

"I know that now, but Jesus Christ, Harry. What was that? I've never seen that behaviour from you, what happened?" Niall moves back so he can look down at Harry's face, but Harry's not looking back.

"My head was just making up stupid stuff. It wasn't anything important." Harry feels foolish for thinking the way he did, as if he were an inexperienced child.

Niall could see through Harry's lie straight away. "I know that's not true."

Harry doesn't want to admit what exactly happened, though he knows how desperate Niall is for answers. "It's not relevant anymore. I thought it was something to worry about but it isn't. We can move past this."

"I can't move past you having a panic attack in my arms, when I've never seen you even remotely show any sort of resemblance to how you were last night. It may not be important now, but it was important last night and that's what matters."

"Niall--" Harry sighs, wracking his mind for anything that would seem convincing.

When Harry is silent for too long, Niall tilts his head up so they're looking right into each other's eyes. "Look into my eyes and tell me what happened is nothing. Tell me that whatever happened was nothing and it's not important and I shouldn't worry about it. Tell me the truth, Harry. Please."

Niall's eyes held desperation and fear, and Harry can't do it. He can't tell Niall that what happened isn't important because it is. It is important because it's the first time Harry has ever shown such vulnerability to Niall, it's the first time Harry let his mind get the better of him while he was with Niall and actually cause him to lose consciousness because he lost all control of himself. It was the first time Harry ever felt like his relationship was at risk, and Niall deserves to know. He deserves to know that Harry felt abandoned in the time that he was spending with Bressie. He felt abandoned for school work and he assumed it was something else when it wasn't. Niall was focusing solely on school work but Harry wasn't processing that.

So Harry cries. His lip shakes as the tears form and Niall is just in time to pull Harry into his chest before the tears fall. The shushing begins even before Harry makes a sound, the reassurances begin before Harry can even let his mind wander. Niall knows Harry better than he even knows himself, and this is what Harry needed over those months that Niall ignored him. This is what he needed to calm his nerves and ease his worries. He needed the reassurances without asking for it, but Niall was too oblivious to notice and Harry was too scared to say anything. They allowed themselves to stop communicating even though it was obvious there was something wrong. Harry's mind took over but he refused to let Niall know that he wanted affection, in fear that Niall would say he was too clingy. Niall would never do such a thing and Harry knows that, he's always known that. He knows Niall loves him and he knows Niall cares about him and he knows Niall understands him even when he doesn't understand himself. Niall may not be the voice of reason, but he's a voice that Harry needed that he never attempted to hear.

Niall, on the other hand, overlooked all the signs that Harry was growing upset. He pushed his lover away to spend time focusing on things he didn't need to. School is important in his life, but he worried himself over tests and exams when he would have passed the class anyway. Sure, he didn't have a perfect grade, but he did have a good one. He had a good balance between his relationship, his friends, and his school work. He never allowed the importance of one to outweigh another in the past, but for some reason he felt that it was a must to let school take over his life. Harry was slipping away, but Niall didn't seem to care. He wanted to pass the class and pass the exam, stopping relations with everything else in order to do so. Harry watched on in fear as his boyfriend worked day in and day out, studying and revising and nonchalantly pushing him away. Harry knew that Niall would be overworking himself and he did say something to him; he warned him not to stop his visits with friends, he warned him not to cram the night before the test, he warned Niall not to lose his head over it. But Niall didn't listen, and while Harry tried to ask for even the smallest of things; a cuddle, a dinner, a night in, Niall refused. Niall refused to recognize his lover's loneliness, and be the time he did, it was too late.

Niall pulls Harry into his lap and settles his head back onto Harry's pillows, sinking into the material where Harry's head once was. Niall rubs his hand along the entirety of Harry's back, which eventually transform into small figures being drawn just above his waist. The feeling must calm Harry enough that the tears stop coming and the sniffles become less frequent. Neither of them are sure how much time has passed, nor do they care. Whether they lied for seconds or minutes or hours, the feeling of being together seemed to erase the essence of time in their minds as they just relaxed in each other's company, something they had only done during short intervals over the past few months.

After both the boys seemed to have enough of the silence, they seem to come to an internal agreement to finally talk about what happened. Harry began first with, "I'm sorry I scared you last night. I let my mind get the better of me." Niall stays silent, allowing Harry to elaborate. "With all the time you were spending with Bressie, and how close you seemed to get, I really let my mind wander with what you could have been doing with him outside of studying. Y'know?" Harry doesn't want to admit it. He doesn't want to admit to thinking Niall was cheating on him because he knows how ridiculous and convoluted his mindset was when he actually believed that Niall would ever do something like that.

Niall bites the inside of his cheek and squeezes his eyes shut; not because he's mad at Harry for thinking like that, but rather mad at himself for actually causing his lover to think his priorities lied with someone else. "Harry,"

Harry cuts him off, "I know it's stupid and ridiculous to even think of it, I can't believe I actually convinced myself that it was true."

"No, baby, it's not ridiculous. It makes complete sense that you'd think that and I'm so sorry I ever let it get to that point." Harry goes to argue, but Niall beats him too it. "I'm so thankful that you didn't end it with me due to it, but I wish you would have told me so I could try to fix it before we got to this point."

"I could never end it with you, and I think that's one of the reasons I never did confront you. I didn't want you to think I was being too clingy and that I was telling you who to be friends with, because I knew you were a bit uncomfortable living here away from all your old friends and family, and I didn't want to ruin the happiness you found. I guess, I think... I don't know. I think I felt like I wasn't enough to make you happy and it scared me that you found someone who could." Harry rambles and he's not sure if he even got a point across at the end of the whole spiel.

"I could never find someone that makes me happier than when I'm with you. And I know you're probably thinking that sounds cheesy, but I don't really know how else to explain it. To explain how much I love you."

Harry looks down at Niall's chest, as during their conversation they both sat up against the headboard, but not removing full contact from each other. "I mean, being with someone for so long, you're bound to grow tired of the same person..." He feels that if he's going to be revealing his insecurities, he might as well let them all out.

"Never. Maybe for some people, but not for me. I've been in love with you for years and I don't think anything will ever change that."

Harry just about feels ready to cry again at that. He should know how dedicated Niall is to him, but his irrational thinking led to horrible thoughts that messed up his head beyond what he would have expected. If he had just gone to Niall in the first place and showed his discomfort, the entire situation could have been avoided. The heartache and worry and fear would not have had time to settle if Harry just admitted his insecurities.

Both boys, again, fall silent. Now that everything seems to be out in the open, neither of them really know what to talk about, and they are instead reminiscing of what they could have done to not drift so far from the same wavelength they once resided on.

"I didn't, you know." Niall finally speaks after minutes of pure silence in the room. Harry almost jumped at the sudden interruption.

"What?"

"I didn't cheat. Everything I did with Bressie was completely platonic."

Harry heaves a sigh, "You don't have to explain yourself; I know you'd never cheat."

Again, silence.

"How do you think you did on your exam? You spent so long studying and revising and worrying about, so was it as bad as you thought it would be?" Harry contemplated making a joke on whether or not is was worth putting their relationship in jeopardy, but he feels it's too soon to joke about it. Eventually, hopefully, they'll be able to look back on this time and laugh about how ridiculous they were both being, maybe two or three years down the line when Niall's graduated and entering the excitingly terrifying workforce of the world.

"Eh, it was okay. I don't think I did as well as I prepared to do. My mind was kind of... occupied." Okay, so maybe it's not too early to make jokes about the situation.

Still, Harry can't help but apologize. "I'm sorry about that. I better not have cost you a passing grade."

"Nah, I'm sure I'll be fine." It goes silent, but Harry knows Niall still has more to say. "And so will we."

Harry looks up to Niall and sends him a soft smile. "I don't doubt that."

_-_-_

When Niall offered Harry a trip to the pub this week, Harry could not decline. He knows that if he and Niall want to fully recover, he will have to actually start accepting Niall's offers to spend a night out together with friends.

When they step out of the taxi they called for so they would not have to drive home after drinking, possibly putting themselves and others in danger, they feel the humidity from the rain settling uncomfortably on their shoulders. Their clothes begin to stick to their bodies and they honestly cannot wait until they are finally able to enter the cool, air-conditioned pub.

Niall said that Bressie normally reserves a seat for him, but he was late to informing him that Harry would finally be tagging along this time, so he will probably end up standing most of the night anyway. As chivalrous as Harry likes to be, Niall knows that it would be much better for Harry to sit down tonight, as his back will probably start agitating him after just an hour of standing. Hence, and much to Harry's dismay, he had to take an office-based job where he sits in front of the computer most of the day. Niall reminds himself to return the massage that Harry gave him ages ago, kneading away the knots that have formed over the years of stress. He's sure the whole ordeal that just commenced has only added more unneeded tension onto his shoulders.

"Niall, hey!" Laura calls out, but then she notices the taller figure standing awfully close to her friend. "Oh my God, please tell me that is the infamous Harry Styles I keep hearing about."

"Live and in the flesh." Harry replies, reaching to shake Laura's hand when they get close enough that they no longer have to yell across the room to hear each other. "Laura, right?"

"So you actually do talk about us, huh?" Laura directs her question to Niall. "Pleasure to finally meet you Mister Styles, you ready to get fucked up?"

Harry spares a glance at Niall, who has already fallen into an animated conversation with Conor about who-knows-what. "I guess so." He shrugs.

"Oh good. Would you be a dear and call over the bartender?" Laura motions to the woman on the other side of the bar who just finished mixing a drink that looks like an iced version of a Cosmopolitan. "I'm sure you'll have no trouble getting her attention."

Harry sends Laura a funny look, "And how would you know?"

"Because I've tried getting her to serve me for the last twenty minutes, ya know, going the whole nine yards with flutter my eyelashes and all that shit, and she won't even spare me a second glance! The nerve of some people." Laura laughs halfway through her statement.

"Oh! You're--" Harry starts, looking sideways at Niall to finish off his statement.

"Honestly, who knows what they are at this day in age? I'm somethin', Harry, that's all you, or her, for that matter, need to know."

"Fair enough." Harry replies and moves over near the bar, motioning to the female bartender to try and get her to come and take their orders. She nods at him and holds up a finger, telling him to wait a bit longer as she serves another customer.

Laura butts into Niall and Conor's conversation when she realizes they're talking about golf, finding the sport unentertaining and not wanting to hear them talk about it for much longer. "You didn't tell us Harry was taggin' along tonight, Niall. It's about fucking time."

Niall and Conor look over at Laura, and they all send sneaky glances over at Harry who has since began circling one of the lone coasters on the bar with his finger, seeming to study the company's design on the front of it.

"It was kind of a last minute thing. I asked him if he wanted to come and he said yes." Niall explains, and then looks around for a second, noticing that one of the main reasons Niall and Harry's fallout began was nowhere to be found. "Where's Brez?"

"Went to take a piss, like, ten minutes ago. I think he fell in." Conor jokes, nudging Niall's shoulder with his. "Enough about him, let's talk about Harry."

"You already know everything about Harry. What else is there to know?" Niall says, again looking over to his lover who returns his glance this time, sending him a smile. Niall grins.

"Well, why don't you start with what changed his mind to finally start tagging along?" Laura and Conor share a glance as Laura continues. "It's a bit strange that after months of us not even knowing exactly what he looks like, he finally starts comin' without warning."

Niall looks back and forth between the two, sighing softly. "Harry and I got in a fight a few days ago."

"A fight?"

"Well, not exactly a fight, more like a misunderstanding. We're just trying to get things back to how they used to be." Niall bites his lip.

"Okay?" Laura says.

"I don't want it to seem like I'm prying, you can tell us whatever you want into as much or as little detail as you want, but what do you mean by 'how it used to be'?" Conor finishes for her.

"It's really hard to explain, guys." Niall says, and is about to jump into a slightly more descriptive explanation, but it's then that Harry taps on Laura's shoulder to show her that the female bartender is now standing in front of them, ready to take their order. Laura moves off from the conversation, but sends Niall a look to tell him that she's expecting a continuation of it later on.

Harry takes Laura's place in the group, looking between Conor and Niall awkwardly, realizing that he must have intruded on something. "You must be Conor." He finally says.

"Oh, Niall, you actually told him about me? I'm flattered." Conor teases, but reaches for Harry's hand nonetheless. Their hands join and Harry feels obligated to pull Conor into one of those weird bro-hugs, though Conor is caught off guard and his shoulder goes knocking into Harry's quite harshly. They both shake off the awkward moment with a laugh.

"I talk about you guys all the time, don't act so surprised." Niall rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Harry, you should have heard Niall at any of the other nights at the pub we had. Oh God, he would just not shut up about you!" Conor spreads gossip to Harry, causing Niall to blush when Harry raises his eyebrows at him.

"Has he now? What is it that he said about me?" Harry asks mischievously.

"Hey boys, as much as I love standing her gossiping, I'd much rather go sit in a booth and continue our conversations there." Laura butts in, yet again, but this time by offering drinks to each of the boys in the group. "I wasn't sure what you liked, Harry, but I saw you eyeing that Cosmo over there, so I just kinda guessed."

Harry smiles and accepts to glass, "You assumed correctly." Laura smiles at him and leads the whole group over to a booth that has a few jackets occupying the seats. Niall and Harry can only assume that they reserved this booth ages before.

"We're not sitting at the bar tonight?" Niall asks as he follows the girl, allowing Harry to sit first on the right side of the booth, sliding in next to him after he's settled.

"Nah, there's this obnoxious group of boys over near where we normally sit, and none of us were willing to deal with that." Conor points over to their usual seats, and Niall and Harry both notice a group of six or seven boys wearing football jerseys huddling around another boy, urging him to chug an entire pint. They all look pissed drunk already.

"They barely look 17." Niall notes.

"That's what Brez said!" Harry perks slightly at the mention of the friend that has yet to show his face. "No matter their age, they're annoying as hell and I want to stay as far away from them as humanely possibly." Laura finishes off, taking a drink from her pint.

Harry looks down at his Cosmo and plays with the lemon slice pushed onto the side of the glass. He then lifts the glass up to his lips and takes a drink, shivering at the strange combination of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. It's been awhile since he's had any sort of alcohol, so the bitter taste of vodka burns his throat slightly.

"Speaking of Brez, he better come back from Narnia soon or I'm taking his drink." Conor notes, looking around in hopes of possibly seeing their excessively tall friend.

The group falls silent as they all sip on their drinks, and Harry feels Niall's hand touch his on the seat. Harry looks down to see that Niall has only rested his fingers against his own, probably by accident. He then looks up to his lover, sending him a smile when Niall glances at him out of the corner of his eye. They revel in their little moment as Conor and Laura watch on in amusement. It's the first they've ever seen Niall interact with anyone with a romantic intention, and they can tell how head-over-heels they are for each other.

Only thirty seconds into their strangely peaceful silence, Bressie finally returns from the bathroom where he had a run-in with a study partner he had in one of his first classes at the university. "Last I checked, there was only four that came to these out nights." Bressie didn't have any harsh intentions behind his words, and he even smiled at Harry when he looked up at him. "Nice to see ya again, Harry."

"Yeah, you alright?" Harry replies back even though he's internally scolding himself for believing that Niall grew unfaithful in order to be together with this other man.

"I'll be good as soon as I get some of this in me. Guinness, right?" Bressie diverts his attention to Laura with the question, though she rolls her eyes because she believes that someone as experienced in the art of drinking as Bressie should be able to identify a type of beer from across the room, especially Guinness with the nearly pitch-black colour of the drink.

The entire table jumps, along with most of the rest of people in the room that have yet to get a good buzz on, when the group of obnoxious boys cheer at something on the television. A few other people clap along just to be a part of the crowd, but most people either roll their eyes or shoot glares at the boys for disrupting the peace that existing in the pub beforehand.

"You chose the wrong night to come visit us, Harold." Niall cringes at the nickname, but Harry shows no mind to it. "These wankers aren't usually here."

Harry just smiles as Bressie takes a drink from his pint, sighing afterwards. Harry messes with the lemon wedge stuck onto the side of his cup, considering taking it off and sucking on it a bit like he used to when he was a kid, showing off to his family at restaurants that he can deal with the sourness. He doesn't feel like he has to show off here, though, and will probably end up looking like an idiot when he tears up and cringes at the disgusting taste.

"Conor, I dare you to go squeeze this over one of those boys heads." Laura says, taking the lemon wedge without asking and handing it to Conor.

"I'll be arrested," Conor deadpans, flicking the fruit from Laura's fingers and onto the table. Harry's definitely not messing with it now, because he doesn't know if the table was cleaned since the group sat down, and he's a bit of a germaphobe when it comes to public places. "If you're so keen on messing with them, you do it."

"What happened to your balls, huh? You sell them to the devil in order to pass Calc?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Niall pipes up, tapping Harry's thigh by accident when he tries to remove his hand from Harry's on the seat. "That professor is shit; so happy I took Calc before we moved here."

Harry looks over to Niall for a brief second, remembering their college days together. Niall was only starting when Harry was preparing to graduate that winter, but Harry remembers being the tour guide when Niall came to check out the campus. That's how they met; Niall nearly tripped over a car when looking at one of the buildings, and Harry helped him stabilize himself back onto his feet before continuing with the tour. They had an unspoken friendship since that day, blossoming into more when Harry began making dorm trips to visit Niall when he was off work and Niall was out of classes. A horribly stereotypical way to meet, but they've managed to make it original once again.

Conor scoffs, "Since you apparently have the balls the size of your inflated ego - I'm sure Harry can vouch - you go do it." Harry blushes at Conor's statement, looking down for a brief second to allow his cheeks to cool. Niall grabs the lemon wedge off the table, squeezing a small bit of the juice out by accident, and goes to stand up. Bressie has to move out of the way slightly, since the booth is only a four-seater and he took to leaning on the side of it, as Niall stretches his legs a bit and looks back to the group, a towering figure above them.

"You're gonna get in a fight," Bressie warns, but he's smiling, verifying to Niall that he's definitely up for some misbehaving.

"We'll bail you out if you get smacked," Laura sits up in the booth after realizing that Niall might actually take her suggestion to piss those annoying boys off.

Niall locks eyes with Harry, and Harry just throws him a small smile and nods over to the group of boys. Although Harry doesn't exactly agree with bothering them, he does feel like it would be fun to watch. He also doesn't think that the boys will react in the way Laura is hoping, since they seem ridiculously over the edge and probably won't be realise what's going on until after Niall has already left them.

Niall accepts Harry's smile as confirmation that he's alright with Niall going through with it. He turns back around, curling his fist around the lemon tighter in a childish attempt to hide the fruit-turned-weapon.

"Holy shit, he's actually doing it. What did you do to him?" Conor directs his question at Harry, though Harry is too busy watching his lover, who's slowly edging close to the clueless group of boys. A few people have taken notice to him moving closer, and watch on curiously to see what he is doing. "Harry."

Harry's head turns to look at the man across from him, "What? Sorry." He chuckles slightly when Conor and Laura share a look before looking back at him with their own small smiles.

"I asked what you did to Niall. He's never this ballsy." Conor says again, making Laura and Bressie laugh.

"Really? Back home, Niall would always be causing trouble when we went out." Harry's mind flashes back to all the instances that Harry was sure he'd have to bail his boyfriend out, either it be from a fight or from jail. "Scared the crap out of me most of the time."

"Maybe because he's so comfortable with you." Bressie nudges Harry with his elbow and takes Niall's seat in the booth.

"But that would mean he's not comfortable with you guys, and I don't think that's it. He's always talk about these nights." Harry shrugs slightly, moving over a bit in the seat so Bressie can have more room. He's a big man, bigger than Harry, and almost a foot taller than Niall.

"Not nearly as much as he talked about you, I'm sure. Every time he came, I swear he told us something new about you. And after a while when he didn't seem to have anything new to say, he's start repeating certain things, kinda like he wanted to drill home how much he cares about it." Laura takes a drink from her pint glass after she speaks, sighing slightly when she notices how quickly the drink has disappeared into her system.

Harry hesitates, stuttering, "Like what?" His voice was shaky, as if he was afraid to ask what Niall considers the most important about him.

"Like, your style, and your eyes, and your hair. We knew what you looked like before you even knew our names, probably." Laura smirks, leaning across the table to fumble with Harry's hair, which he's let hang about tonight instead of putting it up. "I can understand the hair part, at least."

"Come off it, Laura. He hardly mentioned that, not nearly as much as --" Conor is cut off by a loud outburst across the pub, where Niall has now arrived at his destination and already began squishing the lemon slice in his knuckle, the juice sliding down and off his hand onto one of the boys jerseys and into his hair. The victimized boy isn't the one causing the problem, though; instead, only two seats down from the group, a girl throws a fit aimed at the bartender, where she screams and yells and rages at the girl for reasons unknown.

The group of boys and Niall step back when a tequila glass is thrown down the line, though Niall wasn't fast enough is stepping away and the boy with a number 22 jersey crashes into Niall and the lemon wedge goes flying to the ground. Number 22 apologizes drunkenly and leans down to grab the wedge off the ground, grappling Niall by his jeans to keep his balance.

"Sorry, dude." One of the other boys says to Niall with a small smile when the wedge is handed back to him. "These crazy bitches, I swear."

"Yeah," Niall laughs nervously, stepping back from the boy.

"Why don't you have a drink with us? As an apology for hitting you." The boy in which Niall has victimized turns to him, and Niall has to laugh because he's too drunk to even realize the sour liquid dripping from his hair. Either way, Niall still hides the wedge behind his back just in case.

"Nah, I have to get back to my friends." Niall thrusts his finger over his shoulder, not really specifying exactly where his group is as a way of keeping them out of the commotion.

Laura, however, doesn't seem to want protection when she comes up behind him and taps him with her glass. "That was boring." She whispers, drawing out the last word childishly.

"How about your friend, then? We'll get you both drinks." Number 22 offers.

"Shut the fuck up, Dylan, can't you see they're on a date?" Another boy, number 16, smacks him on the shoulder.

Laura cackles, "I'll take a drink if you're offering. Niall, you go on back to your boyfriend."

The boys smile at Laura and bring her into the group, and Niall just rolls his eyes. One of the boys sends Niall a look, as a way of asking if he's sure he doesn't want anything. Niall just shakes his head and smiles, turning around the rejoin Harry and Conor and Bressie.

"Did she seriously just join them? She's the one who told us to get a booty so we can get away from them." Conor shakes his head.

"She'll do anything for a free drink." Niall shrugs and sits next to Conor, now that Bressie has stolen his seat and doesn't seem keen on moving again.

"Even if not, she was going over there for a drink anyway." Bressie notes, eying his own drink. "I should have asked her to get me one too, damn."

"They were offering to all of you. I'm sure if you introduce yourself as her friend they'll get you one too." Niall looks around at the table, noticing that almost all of their glasses are nearly empty, even his. He assumes Laura started sipping on his while he was gone.

"I don't really accept drinks from strangers," Bressie says and gathers up everyone's drinks. "Anyone else want a refill?" Niall and Harry both nod at him. "What'd you get, Harry?"

Harry looks down at his lone glass before grabbing it and giving it to Bressie. "A, uh, a Cosmo, but I'll take whatever."

"I'll get one, but I'll come with because I don't know what I want yet." Conor replies, pushing on Niall's shoulder until he sighs and gets off the seat.

"You're so indecisive, you little shit." Niall grumbles, sitting down next to Harry now that the spot has opened up again.

Conor flicks Niall on the shoulder before leaving with Bressie, making Harry laugh when Niall rubs at the spot. "I like your friends."

"You sure? Did they drug you or something? Sometimes I don't even know if I like them." Niall shakes his head, eying up Laura who is enjoying a laugh with the group of boys, narrowly avoiding all of their advances at his with a smile and innocent eyes, though behind them Niall knows is anything but innocent thoughts. He then looks over at Conor, who's too busy looking at a little pamphlet advertising different types of drinks to notice Bressie, who has already started handing off the empty glasses to the female bartender, making her laugh with something he said.

"They're strange, but from what I've heard, you like that." Niall looks over at his boyfriend then. "They told me how much you talk about me during these nights."

"Oh," Niall blushes and turns away for a second, hoping the blood rushing to his face subsides slightly before looking back at him. "what did they say?"

"They told me how much you adore me," Harry laughs then, looking down at his shirt and pulling at his hair. "and my looks."

Niall chuckles, "I could've told you that."

"I know, and I believe you whenever you do." Niall smiles, but then it drops when he speaks again. "But they also told me how thankful you are of me."

Niall pauses, hesitating. "What?"

"They said that you feel bad for letting me pay for everything. Niall --"

"Harry --"

"Let me finish, please, love." Harry gives Niall a second to reply, and when he doesn't, he continues. "You don't need to feel like you owe me anything, ever. Everything I do, I do it for you. Working late, cooking you dinner, paying all expenses for our flat and helping you with school, it's all because I love you."

"I know, Harry, I know. I love you, too." Niall replies, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and pulling him into his chest. "I'll repay you as soon as I graduate and get a job and --"

"No. You don't ever have to repay me, Niall; I don't want you to worry about that." Harry interrupts him, kissing his neck lightly since he's unable to reach his lips. "I want you to focus on school right now, focus on what's going on now, not what you want to happen in the future. It'll work out, love, I promise." Harry knows he's starting to sound like a generic therapist, a philosophical speaker, a person whose experienced too much in their lifetime and goes on to inspire many with their story. He doesn't mean to, and he knows he's not even talking about they originally were anymore, but he doesn't care. He knows Niall has to hear this, and he kind of has to hear this himself. Even if it's his own words, sometimes speaking them aloud makes him feel better than just thinking it.

"Me focusing on school is what fucked us up in the first place." Niall whispers harshly, aggressively, but it's not aimed at Harry, it's not meant to be make his lover frightened or standoffish or make him think twice about bringing up the topic, but rather aimed at himself because he's still upset that he made Harry question him and lose faith in him and stop trusting him as much as he used to.

And Harry knows this. He knows Niall isn't pissed off with him, but himself. "It was a long time coming, Niall. Every relationship goes through this at one point or the other. I'd say we're we're lucky to experience it so early on in our relationship, it means we won't have to go through it later." He pauses, pulling back from Niall's chest so their eyes can meet and share words and emotions and thoughts that their mouths could never express. "And if we do, we'll know how to deal with it."

"Hopefully." Niall speaks, and his eyes are wide and loud and he's never been more sober in his entire life. He's always had a film over him, a blurry obstacle that obscured his vision and imbedded him with a false sense of clarity and maturity and bravery. Now he can see clearly, throw away the childish immaturity he didn't know he still had, and move along in life with Harry at his side.

_-_-_

Niall and Harry return home later that night, and it's almost midnight when they crawl into bed together with loopy smiles and tipsy minds, though they're not drunk and they're not out of it, and every time Harry kissed Niall tonight they earned wolf whistles from their friends - because now they're more than just Niall's friends but Harry's, too, and they were invited back the next week together and they made Harry promise he'd come again because they swore they needed to build up Harry's alcohol tolerance and get him off the "girly drinks" according to Laura, who was able to down five pints of Guinness before wanting to kiss one of those boys, Dylan, after she learned they weren't seventeen, but rather twenty-one and just looked astoundingly young for their age - and every time Niall kissed Harry he'd press into him on the seat and Harry felt it in his heart, in his gut, in his groin, and hiding a semi for half the night grew tiring, making Harry beg Niall to get a cab back home instead of taking up Bressie's offer of a ride, so he could hold Niall and kiss Niall and touch Niall in the presence of someone they don't know instead of a friend who would never let them live it down.

Harry crawls on Niall's lap in the bed, putting his legs on either side of Niall's body to let him know that he's been hiding his passion and lust all night and wants to expel some of the pressure off his shoulders, and hopes Niall will help him and join him and love him loudly, passionately, sweetly, dirtily. It's been so long since they've come together as one, and though Harry isn't thinking sex would be the best idea right now because he hates the thought of doing something like that when alcohol is in his system, when alcohol in is Niall's system, but a bit of grinding and handy work doesn't seem too bad.

"Mm, Harry," Niall groans when he feels Harry against his thigh, moving against him slowly, sensually. "How long have you had this?"

"All night." Harry feels Niall's hands trail along his back and down to his hips, but back up again so he can squeeze Harry's love-handles tightly, forcing a groan of pain and pleasure out of Harry as he slumps against Niall. "Please, Niall."

"What do you want me to do, Harry?" Niall asks in a voice deeper than his usual tone, and Harry knows that Niall is getting worked up and will want to find friction soon.

"Anything," Harry buries his head in Niall's throat, nosing at Niall's pulse on the side of his neck before licking a stripe along the spot, feeling the rapid bump of Niall's heart beneath his tongue.

"Are you sure?" Niall pushes against Harry's shoulder slightly so their eyes meet. Harry's eyes are darkened, both by the dim light filtering through their curtains from the street and from his pupils having to be blown wide so he can see. A hint of lust could also be hidden in the dark colours of Harry's irises, but Niall tries to pay no mind to that part as he insists Harry specifies what he'd like for them to do together. Niall is against having sex while under the influence - even if only slightly - just as much as Harry.

Harry studies Niall's eyes as Niall has done to his, noting on the many emotions swimming in them - lust, worry, love, a small bit of sleepiness - before replying to him. "Yes, anything. You know what I like."

Niall nods and accepts Harry's answer, shuffling about until he has managed to roll over on top of his lover, kissing him throughout the process and swallowing down Harry's small, annoyed groan when his head is pushed uncomfortably against the headboard for a second. Niall apologises when he removes his mouth from Harry's, kissing Harry's Adam's apple and mouthing along the bump as his hands travel downward; slowly, quietly, sneakily. Harry's too focused on Niall paying extra attention to his throat to notice his boyfriend's calloused hands picking at the buttons of Harry's shirt.

It's only when Niall fumbles on the buttons for too long and has to pull away from Harry's neck to watch himself unbutton Harry's shirt that Harry takes notice to it. His hands reach up to help Niall, but Niall refuses the help by pushing Harry to lay back down, muttering that he can do it and that he wants to take care of him. Harry wants to laugh because Niall doesn't realise how much he's already doing for Harry by just pressing his groin on Harry's thigh and subconsciously rutting against it. He doesn't realise how close Harry has come to release just by his lips licking and sucking and biting on Harry's sweet spot.

But, Harry obeys and leaves his boyfriend to mess about with his shirt, smiling and chuckling at Niall's grunts of frustration when his fingers slip off the same button for the fourth time, his victorious laugh of satisfaction when he finally undoes all the buttons, and his sensual groan of passion when his eyes meet Harry's again and takes notice of his lover's beautiful smile and brilliant dimples and awkwardly large nose and comically blown eyes.

"You're beautiful." He whispers, mostly to himself, but Harry hears him and accepts to compliment with a kiss to Niall's nose. They both start laughing after that.

"Leave it to us to make a lustful moment into some sappy, rom-com cliche." Harry says after his laughter dies down, but doesn't disappear. Niall's laughs dim down to chuckles as he pulls himself up to be level with Harry.

"Are you even still in the mood anymore, or would you rather sleep?" Niall asks when Harry yawns quietly, trying to hide it behind his hand.

"We still can, if you want to." Harry chooses to say, not wanting to force Niall to do anything if he doesn't feel up to it.

"Do you want to?"

Harry pauses at Niall's insistence, allowing himself time to settle his mind from the frenzied few minutes since they've got home. He is up for doing anything with Niall, considering it's been so long since they've done anything, but he realises that is the exact reason why Niall is being so cautious. After what's happened recently between them, Niall doesn't want Harry to feel like he's forcing him to have sex just because of how inactive they've been with each other. He also doesn't want to use sexual activities as a way of forcing them to make up; rather, he'd let time play out and bring them back together naturally instead of forcing them to act like nothing has gone wrong along the way. When things happen between them, even something as small as a disagreement over what they should eat for dinner, Niall likes to talk things out instead of brushing it aside to deal with later, because eventually that later is going to come and by then there are so many disagreements and arguments that have yet to be resolved that it turns into a much bigger issue than just a few instances of not agreeing on small things. If they can't resolve their disagreement about something as small as that, how could they ever resolve bigger issues that have come up?

Harry thinks back to the many times they've disagreed on small, menial things that shouldn't have even causes problems in the first place - what Netflix show should we watch next, should we get fast food or something more extravagant, should we go see this movie or that one, should we get a dog or a cat? Then, the things about the bigger problems they have faced and overcame - should we move in together, should Niall transfer to a different university so Harry can take the new job opportunity in England or should they stay in Ireland, do we ever want to have kids in the future?

All these problems that have come and gone; caused heartache and migraines and unnecessary illnesses, all the while Harry just wants to be with Niall and Niall just wants to be with Harry. They just want to be together, just want to make it together.

"Harry?" Harry realises that he blanked out and got lost in his thoughts. "We can go to sleep if you want to, I just wasn't sure if you'd want to do anything tonight or not. We have had a pretty eventful night."

Harry still doesn't really know what he wants right now, so he goes with his gut instinct and says, "I think sleeping would be a good idea."

Niall nods and shuffles to the side of the bed so he can take off his pants and change into a t-shirt to sleep in, but Harry stops him when he reaches for the drawer of his nightstand. Harry's hand is on Niall's shoulder when he looks back, eyes wide and confused.

"Sleep without it." Harry voices, and Niall throws his a strange look. "I want to feel your skin pressed to mine tonight."

"Oh," Niall mumbles, eying the dirty clothes he's bunched up in his hand, preparing to throw it across the room to hopefully land in the hamper.

"Yeah." Harry replies lamely, turning away from his lover so he can undress himself.

They fall into a slightly uncomfortable silence, sitting on opposite sides of the bed with their legs dangling down. They both look up at each other at the same time, and Niall says, "I'll throw your clothes in the hamper."

"I bet you'll miss." Harry decides to make the atmosphere light-hearted again.

"Excuse me, but I'm damn fantastic at making it in, thank you very much."

Harry scoffs and throws his clothes to his boyfriend, "Alright, then do it."

Niall bunches up Harry's clothes as well before pushing his lover down on the bed so his head lands on his pillow. Harry laughs and gets himself comfortable under the covers.

Niall throws the clothes to the basket, but lays down before he can see if they landed in it. They both hear the articles of clothing hit either the hamper bottom or the carpeted floor.

"Nailed it." Niall triumphs, turning toward Harry.

'Nah, you were about four feet off."

"You didn't see, you don't know that."

Harry laughs, "You didn't see either, so you don't know either."

Niall goes silent before muttering a quiet, "Shut up."

"Love you too." Harry continues to laugh as he pulls Niall into his arms, choosing to be the big spoon tonight as a way of mending Niall's damaged ego for missing the basket, though he refuses to admit it until the morning when he finds out that yes, he was in fact about two feet off from the basket, except for Harry's shirt that managed to hang loosely over the side of the basket. Not completely in, but not on the floor either so he counts it as a win. Harry just laughs at him before putting all the laundry in the basket himself, kissing his lover a couple times and telling him to go make some breakfast while Harry separated the darks from the lights from the coloureds.

"At least I know that's one thing you can't be two feet from getting right." Harry taunts, earning him a punch in the shoulder.

"You're an arsehole." Niall whines.

"You love me." Harry replies.

Niall sighs, but doesn't retaliate because they both know that yes, Niall does love Harry, even when he wishes he didn't.

End.


End file.
